Why doesn’t everywhere sell cheesy chips and bolognese?

It’s like lasagne with chips

Some might drunkenly feast on chips and gravy after a night out. Some may try and scoop up bits of kebab they accidentally dropped all over the Bigg Market. Others might dabble in the delights of Middlesbrough cuisine with a Parmo…

But there’s one type of calorific carb-fest that many students will go for after a night out: cheesy chips and bolognese.

For just £3.50 at Salt & Pepper (convenient for Sinners, Cosmic, Sam Jacks, The Gate & Tiger) you could be tucking into something just as good as lasagne, but with the added enthrallment of there being chips at the bottom.

Holly Bardell, second year Geography, is almost as enthusiastic about CCB as I am: “If you put all the world’s leaders in a room and fed them cheesy chips with bolognese, there’d be no more conflict. The world would be at peace.”

It’s pretty beautiful

The staff at Salt & Pepper gave us exclusive VIP access backstage as they modelled their heavenly creation.

First: They fry the chips; before adding a thin first layer of cheese, which melts down into the chips when heated.

Second: They add the mince & bolognese sauce on top.

Third: After being heated in the microwave for 30 seconds, what comes out is cheesy chips 2.0. The modified version. The alpha take-out. It’s the future. Move over Marco Pierre White; Jamie Oliver; Michel Roux – there’s a new contestant for the 2017 Michelin Star Guide: and it’s on Percy Street, opposite Next.