What do you really think about Valentine’s Day?

Valentine’s Day is upon us and with the prospect of oversized stuffed teddies, poorly poetic cards, and a slap in the face for singletons.

Braving the love shack of the Sydney Jones, we bring you answers to those pressing questions on love (and student’s erotic fantasies).

Here are the pathetic words of the love-struck/ lonely library goers:

What’s your dream Valentine’s day?

Catherine, 1st Year

“Just spending quality time with the one you love really.”

She obviously hasn’t read ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ or her expectations may be a lot more exciting.

Cydney, 2nd Year

“A lot of pizza… and sex. Just all day. A marathon.”

A different position for different toppings? Missionary for Margarita, Cow Girl for Pepperoni? Let’s not think what a Mighty Meaty might follow.

Bella, 1st Year

“I’d like to be taken to the Maldives and we could just chill on the beach.”

Nothing too extravagant then.

Seth, 1st Year

“Just training…just training.”

Who doesn’t want to be wooed by sweat, lycra and weights? Oh that’s right: no one.

Chris

“Well, I’m going out this year with my best friend to watch 50 Shades of Gray…”

Did you say your best friend? Have you read the summary of that film? Are you making the right choice here Chris?

What’s your best Valentine’s day story?

Katriana, 2nd Year

“I once spent Valentine’s day with a really fit half-italian, half-egyptian boy. I bought this weird fizzy champagne drink and strawberries and Ferrero Rocher and everything. And we watched American Pie and it was starting to steam up. But then Mother Nature hit… We’re just good friends now.”

But will you be friends once he’s read this? Probably not.

Lucy, 1st Year

“My mum has sent me an anonymous Valentine’s card every year since I was 6. She still refuses to admit it’s her and I still throw them in the bin in embarrassment. But she persists every year and I imagine by the time I’m 40 I’ll still be getting them.”

Probably the only card she gets every Valentine’s day as well. Poor chuck.

Would you like to declare your Valentine?

Harry, 1st Year

“Toby Luck is my one and only Valentine. I’ll be taking him for a quick pint at Carni Bar before hopping onto the 699 into town. We’ll be feasting on Subways and having a cocktail or two. Then I’ll pay for his taxi back and we’ll share a bath by candlelight in Rankin and then… who knows how the night will end.”

Best of luck to Toby.

Abby, 1st Year

 

“I love my boyfriend: Robi Paul Quigley.”

That’s nice, love. Glad you’re into him.

Beth, 1st Year

“I declare my love to the beardy guy who works at Carnatic reception. Can’t wait for my next parcel to arrive…”

I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if you came and fondled his packages.