‘I live just outside London’: How to spot someone from Kent

The South’s low key poshos

country humour kent

In case you haven't heard of it, Kent is the county just south of London, full of fields and peak rural views. A lot of people tend to group it with London, but it's a far cry from the Big Smoke. It's posher, has less pollution and no tube stations.

So, how do you know if you're in the presence of a Kentish creature? Good question. Here's the best guide on how to spot people who are proud to be from Kent, A.K.A the “Garden of England”.

The accent

“Oh, good afternoon, hope you’re well” – let’s start at the first impression, listen out for the Kentish charm, the posh twang: “scone” rhymes with stone, “chocolate” is pronounced choc-let, every pronunciation of “t” is emphasised, and “oh crumbs” is used as an expression of surprise.

Be warned, you might even fall for the slightly poncey dialect, but they are the people who’ll correct your spelling or grammar during an argument or in a group chat. One must speak properly, mustn’t one?

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This deserves an angry react

The rural Instagram feed

Those from Kent are proud of their countryside, green finger heritage and with good reason. You’ve only got to take a look at a Kentish Instagram feed and you’ll see some pretty stunning gardens and rural views amongst the club photos.

Go visit your Kentish friend and take in some real oxygen, and then you can take your own rural pics to freshen up your feed, trust me it really rakes in the likes.

The garden of England 🍃

A post shared by Luke Thorpe (@luke.thorpe) on

They almost certainly went to a grammar school

Being one of the few counties that still has grammar school education, schools are often large and crammed full of arrogant people who think they are good at selective sports and end up at Bristol Uni.

The uniforms were taken so seriously, they've probably brought them to uni to use for sports socials.

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Have you ever seen such conservatism in one photo?

They're probably a keen cricketer

Cricket is a way of life in Kent. Whether it’s village cricket (playing the full six hours literally just to get a free cricket tea of sandwiches, tea and scones), church cricket (the quicker the game the better and smashed windows are an essential), or league cricket (actually taking it seriously, until you finish the game, then you hit the pale ale hard).

Keen cricketers will bring this up at any given opportunity.

There are horse riders everywhere

There are fields in Kent. I mean, lots of fields. If you were a field enthusiast you'd have, well, a field day. That also means there are lots of horse riders – and boy do they talk non-stop about it, all day, every day.

They post an Instagram about a competition they were in three years ago "omg miss these" at least once a week. These people bring their banners for #1 British Showjumping National Championships to uni, plastering their walls with pics of them jumping over a hedge.

Solid clear for first tet of the season. 💚💛💚

A post shared by Ines Mitchell (@i___mitchell) on

Says "I'm only 40 minutes from London" but just wants to be accepted

Yes, it's true, some SouthEastern trains can take you from St Pancras into Kent in about 40 minutes, but the reality is, nobody lives near to their nearest train station – their actual home is a little further than "just outside London".

#naughty

A post shared by Sophia Terry (@sophia.remedios) on

So, if you fancy playing a game with Theresa May, then Kentish summer afternoons were meant for you – running through fields of wheat is definitely considered naughty.

Whether you fancy a trip to Kent or want to stay well away, you probably won't be able to afford to live there after uni anyway.

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