These are officially the nine scariest things you’ll encounter as an Exeter student

Spooky scary Sidwell Street

3 hours ago

It’s officially spooky season! There’s pumpkins being picked at Pennywell farm, there’s Pumpkin Spice flavours in everything and there’s Halloween themed socials looming in every Gandy Street cocktail bar. You have your Halloween costume all set. You’re counting down the days and you’re debating whether it’s socially acceptable to start pre drinking for Halloween now. With Halloween bringing the scariest things to the forefront, here’s some of the SCARIEST, most TERRIFYING things an Exeter uni student can experience. Beware, the following will send shivers down your spine…

1. FIXR crashing

All Exeter uni students have a love/hate relationship with FIXR. It’s our toxic situationship that we KNOW isn’t good for us, but we keep giving it second chances. When you see that notification of tickets releasing, you drop everything. No matter if you’re in a lecture, a seminar or even in the middle of Fore Street – you must priortise FIXR. But…it crashes. Despite the relentless refreshing, you see “sold out”. It’s enough to make a grown man cry.

2. Waking up in a rugby boy’s bed

Imagine this: your head is spinning, your mouth is dry, your ears are ringing and there’s a BO smell in the air. You turn to your right and there lies a six-foot man with a questionable mullet and in his Oddballs undies. As you crack your spine back into place after sleeping on prison-like bed, you feel instant regret. You try to sneak away from the beast, but he spots you. Instead of asking you a decent question like “how are you?”, he asks, “so, can you drive me to the gym? I need to sweat out last night’s jagerbombs, rahhh”. Absolutely terrifying.

3. Checking your bank account after TP

This is something that scares every Exeter uni student. Checking your bank account after a messy TP night. You want to live in ignorance but have to face the music. You’re already feeling sorry for yourself and checking your bank balance only adds salt to the wound. It hurts even more when your bank app decides to sends you endless notifications of last night’s spending. Maybe that third green Venom wasn’t a good idea…

4. a Vaults stamp

You wake up with little memory and a banging hangover. You’re manually breathing and trying to piece together how you ended up home last night. You feel an itch on your wrist and see the usual TP stamp, but what’s that? A Vaults stamp? Must of been a good night if you wanted to carry on the party by going to Vaults for an afters. Many, many, many regrets.

5. Overheard scammers

The most horrifying, terrifying, evil cretins out there. The Overheard scammers. After FIXR crashing and you failing to secure a ticket. You have no choice but to turn to Overheard as a form of hope to attend The Piece. However, you are met with scammers upon scammers. People who don’t even LIVE in Exeter trying to sell you a TP ticket for £80. If you’re an Overheard scammer, I hope both sides of your pillow are warm, and you step on LEGO. Get a job.

6. Cardiac and Forum hill

Exeter is a city full of hills. You are sweating and heaving 24/7 because of the constant incline. Although we have gotten used to the hills around here, there are some notorious ones that are worse than others. Notably, Forum Hill and Cardiac Hill. Some say Cardiac is much worse than Forum and I believe them. Thinking about walking up Cardiac or Forum with a hangover is enough to make anyone’s hair stand on ends.

7. The seagulls

Living by the sea, of course our city is home to the seagulls. The seagulls RUN Exeter. This is their city and we’re just living in it. Especially when you’re trying to have a cute picnic at Exmouth and the whole flock decides to come and attack you personally. They are the worst. They are like the flying monkeys from Wizard of Oz. Disgusting things.

8. Messaging your landlord

Probably the most terrifying task ANY uni student has to do at some point of their tenancy. Messaging your landlord. You and your housemates gather around the kitchen table to form the nicest, passive aggressive message to send to your landlord about the mould issue. Your house has already accepted its fate that the landlord’s response will be “has never been a problem before” but you poke the bear anyway. It’s even scarier when the landlord calls you…