Signet rings and DJ sets: 10 things you’ll find in an Exeter Uni f-boy’s room

From Fever Room 2 to the great heights of Holland Hall, Exeter Uni has no shortage of fuckboys. These men are at every turn.  They roam the campus with an air of self-importance and entitlement. Whether it’s their uninspired outfits or their questionable choices in room decor, there are many telltale signs that distinguish a fuckboy.

You or a friend have possibly come across these creatures. You probably comfort your friend on a daily basis as she sobs about her toxic situationship in the TP toilets. So, to avoid these cretins, here are some signs you’re in an Exeter Uni fuckboy’s room.

1. Signet ring 

Starting off strong with the signet ring. A man who wears a signet ring is probably from Surrey, still refers to his parents as “Mummy” and “Daddy”, and spends his trust fund on Jägerbombs and Venoms. Run.

2. DJ setup 

There is an epidemic of fuckboys who see themselves as up-and-coming DJs. Waking up the whole of East Park at 3am does NOT make you the new Fred Again. Maybe take a break from your (failing) music career and focus on your business degree?

3. Booze souvenirs 

There is nothing attractive about a graveyard of 60 litres worth of Smirnoff collecting dust on your shelf. It’s less a sign of good times and more a shrine to poor decisions. Grow up.

4. Club stash

Someone needs to tell him that no one cares that he still has his first pair of Dirty Beat rave shades kicking about. It’s even worse if he’s a Fever club rep or wears his rave visors to EVERY night out. Super embarrassing and a huge red flag if you ask me…

5. A Schöffel

Any man who thinks that Schöffel gilets are the height of fashion definitely has the most shocking mullet and a sorry excuse for a moustache. Not a cute look. We just KNOW he’s walking around the Forum trying to be nonchalant and mysterious.

6. ‘Artsy’ decor

You’ve probably encountered the film degree guy in Old Timers who’s telling you that his favourite fictional character is Patrick Bateman. The Radiohead vinyl and Tarantino movie poster collection in his room aren’t fooling anyone – this man is a class-A male manipulator. Run for the hills, girl.

7. A hoard of TP cups 

Much like the vodka bottles, these are a bizarre choice of room decor. You do know you can trade these in for discounted TP drinks, right? No one’s impressed by your dusty collection, babes x

8. (Unwashed) rugby kit

You’ve woken up with a raging hangover and ended up in the rugby boy’s bed after a messy TP Wednesday. What’s that grim smell? Yup, that’ll be the pile of muddy rugby clothes that are still waiting to see the inside of a washing machine. He defo wears the same kit for the rest of the week…

9. Guitar 

If you see a guitar in a man’s room, tread lightly. One wrong move and he’ll serenade you (for far longer than he lasted in bed, I bet).

10. The sports social getup 

Last but not least is the dreaded chinos, blue shirt, sports tie and brown loafers combination. This man has been made to do unspeakable things at the social he was just at all whilst trying to convince himself it was just “banter” and not a cry for help.

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