Giant Percy Pigs have saved 2020 and here’s why you need one ASAP
Shout out to Marks and Spencer
Try telling your 2019 self at midnight on New Year’s Eve that receiving a giant plush toy would be the single, only good thing to happen to you in the entirety of 2020. Just when we were at our lowest, none other than Marks and Spencer stepped in to save the day.
The retailer giant brought out their huggable Percy range a just a few weeks ago now, and in the short time I have known my Percy Pig, he has brought me more joy and happiness than I could have ever imagined. I’m fully aware I sound crazy, and recognise that, yes, I am 21 years of age, but for now, let me say, without hope or agenda, that my giant Percy Pig has saved my 2020.
The adorable range comes in two sizes and are extremely reasonably priced, with the 90cm tall Percy costing £25 and the 60cm one a mere £15. Although a three foot-tall Percy Pig wandering around your house might sound a little creepy at first, trust me when I say this will be the best investment you make all year. If anything, what else are you going to waste your money on now that pubs and licensed premises are shut for 16 days…
That’s going straight in my basket.
They give the best hugs
Hugging my enormous Percy Pig sure does make up for the lack of human contact and affection we have been allowed this year. “In a year when hugs have been in drastically short supply,” said M&S in the product release statement, “it doesn’t matter if you need a GIANT cuddle or a little pig to lean on, Percy has ready-made hugs for all.” A hug from a giant pig with no risk of COVID-19 transmission? Sign me up.
Their smiling faces fill the room with optimism
When life is so doom and gloom at the moment, there is nothing better than thrusting open your bedroom door after a long day of online uni to be met with none other than Percy’s smiling face. You just can’t help but flash a beaming smile back! He’s effectively like a portable Seasonal Affective Disorder lamp, but a fit, fluffy one with great chat and positive vibes.
Cuffing season is coming along and a giant pig is the perfect substitute for a human companion
Edinburgh is getting chillier as the weeks go by, and some of us still lack a romantic companion to keep us warm throughout the winter months. A fluffy, life-size Percy to snuggle up with at night is the perfect companion to protect you against Edinburgh’s baltic conditions, and will put your boring old hot water bottle to shame.
Who needs real-life friends?
You won’t feel lonely with a Percy by your side
Uni life can feel particularly lonely at the moment, especially with such strict regulations on mixing with and meeting people in Scotland. Spending hours staring at your laptop screen all day without being able to invite your friends over for a coffee, nor being able to go for dinner or a drink with them in the evening is nothing short of dire, and it’s easy to end up feeling alone for hours at a time. However, with a massive pig sat on the chair next to you as you type away your day, you can kiss those pangs of loneliness goodbye. Percy’s presence in a room is undeniable, and his companionship unrivalled.
They make for a banging piece of room décor
The theme of my student bedroom this year is ‘Tuscan Sunset’ and, unsurprisingly, Percy fitted right in. All of those orange and red hues are complemented perfectly by my giant pig’s radiant, pink glow. Be it a pop of fuchsia in a swanky, monochrome bedroom in Quartermile, or a modern pink twist in a palatial New Town boudoir, Percies are the perfect edition to any student bedroom.
Finally, M&S has gone so unironically hard on their marketing campaign that, more than anything, I really hope it pays off for them
From creating Percy Pig an Instagram, to bringing out Percy Pig dessert sauce, Penny and Percy biscuits, to now Percy Pig pies, M&S have gone HARD on their campaign, and perhaps just need to give this poor pig a break. Perhaps the weirdest element of this whole saga is the utterly bizarre footage the retailer has been churning out non-stop on Instagram videos and Reels.
From the creepy background elevator music, to the eerily large montage of pigs in the M&S head office, the whole thing is absolutely wild. And if that hasn’t convinced you to to grab your own Percy, then I don’t know what will.