Club promoters to Dropkicks: These are the most annoying things Edinburgh students can do

I understand that gazing out of the 33’s window, listening to your finest collection of 2010’s classics makes you feel like the main character in an 80’s coming of age movie. However, your decision to reserve a space in the library with half a pack of chewing gum and a hair follicle is not going to make the cut. While that crime cannot be excused, this list has to be prefaced by admitting that, like all of us, I was once a silly fresher, with no knowledge of Edinburgh bus stop etiquette, Nile Valley wraps, and thankfully, no knowledge of Hive. Unfortunately, that means that I may, or may not, have been guilty of a few of these actions- but hey, I know you are too. Here are eight things that make you exceptionally annoying as an Edinburgh student:

1. Being a club promoter

The evil smile of someone who is plotting the most annoying message she can spam on the accommodation group chat

We all need the money but please be a bit less icky and work a rotten customer service job like the rest of us. You lose even more respect if you were one of the fools selling freshers wristbands- you are still the friend who is left out of group chats because of those bloody links and endless promotions of “sold out” events.

2. Buying freshers wristbands

Live, Laugh, Hive x

On that note, come on now you knew they weren’t sold out- everyone told you the club would be dead. I’m not mad- just disappointed.

3. Unironically saying ‘Uni Of’

Look it just slips out sometimes I know, but don’t make a habit of it (especially if you have an English accent…)

4. Enjoying Dropkicks

As the biggest Guinness lover outside of Ireland this one pains me but come on now- they barely ever even have the right glasses. I’ve never felt more sober after spending so much money than in Drops. From random fistfights and drinks flying everywhere, to the questionable characters who enjoy line dancing, it’s just not going to be a good night.

I swear those are temporary tattoos

As the biggest Guinness lover outside of Ireland this one pains me but come on now- they barely ever even have the right glasses. I’ve never felt more sober after spending so much money than in Drops. From random fistfights and drinks flying everywhere, to the questionable characters who enjoy line dancing, it’s just not going to be a good night.

5. Mentioning Harry Potter in every cafe

No, it was not written in Potterrow, and even if it was, I still don’t care.

6. Posing for selfies on Waverly Bridge

I walk along the bridge every week on my way back from work and every single time there’s about eight groups of people taking pictures in the middle of the road. You are standing next to a Spoons. There is someone throwing up at 2pm because they’ve had one too many Stellas and you still think it’s a great place to snap a quick selfie??

7. Judging an exam season struggle meal

I genuinely don’t even know what’s on my plate here

Yes, I’ve had nothing but cheesy pasta for the past 18 days. No, I have not even seen a vegetable. Yes, my body is in pain. But that’s not your place to judge okay.

8. Going on holiday at any minor inconvenience

Bin off Appleton Tower, rock on Düsseldorf

Note to self: Because a return flight is £23 doesn’t mean you have to get on it.

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