The Dating Game

Never burn your bridges.

Some say never keep in touch with your ex, it’ll never end well. Others may not want to lose that close bond to one of their best friends (usually the one who got dumped). But there is a very good reason to keep your ex, or any random pull for that matter, and it’s not because of anything stupid like emotional bonds… No, it’s for convenience. You never know when they could come in handy. Be it a Daddy who can get tickets to the rugby, or essays you could ‘borrow’, there may still be some use in that battered old horse yet.

For whatever reason, in first year I found myself walking back from Talybont North to my halls in Court at 4am, when the contents of my stomach decided that they had enough and wanted to make a swift exit…

Stranded in the no mans land that is Talybont South, I had two options; run and hope for the best, or make like a bear and shit in the woods.

But then it came to me… I was only 2 minutes from a girl who I had recently stopped dating. I had ended it and had suspected that she was still interested. I had a plan.
*Ring ring*…. “Hello..?”
“Hey, its me, are you up?” I asked.
“Its 4am, what do you want?” She replied…
“OK, this is quite embarrassing, but…”

Now some of you may think I’m about to tell the truth, that ringing up a girl at 4am to use her shitter is something that works. But you know, some people are idiots…

“I’m outside yours” I said… “I’ve been out tonight and all I can think about is you. Can I come in?”
“……. OK I’ll come get you!” Sweet words.
Alright, so it took a bit more convincing but you get the idea. Now this is the part that I’m not proud of, and I’m not one for toilet humour but the deed had to be done, and when I asked “Can I use your loo for a sec?” I knew that her toilet was about to be destroyed. I let it all out, dear reader – and I immediately felt better. Such a relief. No way was I there to express feeling or emotion, I was there because of my bowels.

When you gotta go, you gotta go!

As I left her bathroom (which was attached to her room and was paper thin) the situation dawned on me… I was tipsy, in a girls room and she was decent looking (with feelings for me) – I decided to at least give it a go!

Obviously I was rejected, but not so obvious was my reaction…

“FINE! I came here to tell you how I feel and that’s how you act, I’m off!” Quick thinking, good move I thought!

And off I was, skipping home without a care in the world. I no longer needed a shit and I could head home feeling fine. And what’s better, I received a text 30 minutes later apologising for kicking me out… Never burn those bridges kids!