TAB TRIES: HANGOVER CURES
The stench is disgusting. A moan of agony comes from a pile of blankets… You’ve guessed it! It’s a severe Tiger Tiger hangover. The Tab’s Gemma Neath investigates which hangover cures really can rid the god awful feeling…
As students we know this feeling as well as we know our best friends. We can’t move, we can’t think, we definitely never going to drink again and we certainly DON’T want to go to lectures. This is a real problem that needs solving.
Most of us use our hangovers as an excuse to demolish a fry up, jump back into bed and catch up on this week’s Hollyoaks. This has worked perfectly fine for Fresher’s Fortnight but we all want the answer to the same question: how can we continue to be a good student (eg. not miss Tiger Monday, Revs Tuesday, Lash Wednesday…etc) now that lectures have started?
The Tab set out to discover what we should really do when we wake up with a hangover from hell. We gave four friends a bottle of vodka and asked them to do what they do best: get smashed in Cardiff…
The next morning once we were satisfied with quotes such as “I think I’m going to die” and “I’m NEVER drinking again”, The Tab tested four different hangover cures…
Ellie (more than happily) tested the classic student ‘bed and bacon’ tactic. When eating the bacon sandwich in bed Ellie was so happy no hangover could be detected. Result?! Maybe not…after a day of ‘bacon and bed’, Ellie had no intention of getting up and still felt “like death”.
The Tab persuaded Tom, who had been ruined by a rugby social, to test the theory of ‘sweating out the toxins’. It took bribery involving washing up/cooking for him before he was willing to come to the kitchen, let alone go for a run.
Once he was home I asked how the run felt, he said “everything hurt and I hated myself and The Tab for doing it.” Not so good then. But… when I asked how his hangover was he said he felt so much fresher and that he must have sweated out the toxins because his “sweat tasted of Jager”. Surely this is solid evidence?!
Alice tested the theory ‘hair of the dog’. When The Tab first put two cocktails in front of her in the Woodville (241 Thursdays!) she repeated “no…more…alcohol…”, but once she got it down her she was lively, chatty and giggling about going out again that night. Result! The Tab wasn’t totally convinced of her enthusiasm when we found her passed out on the sofa with a delayed hangover at 6pm though…
Ever woken up with a hangover, gone downstairs and eaten a bunch of bananas? Probably not, but apparently the potassium in bananas makes them perfect hangover food. Ben tested this theory. After a heavy one for Ben in particular we thought nothing could get rid of his hangover…
After trying to convince him that, even though he was gagging after three bananas, he should keep going instead of taking Ellie’s bacon sandwich we rudely got told “I don’t give a shit about potassium, I want bacon.” Maybe not such good hangover food then? Although Ben made it clear the “greasy stuff” hit the spot perfectly unlike bananas, he said he felt much fresher and more energetic for the rest of the day.
All in all, if you need to feel good for a short social event, the ‘hair of the dog’ is undeniably a good option but remember, the hangover will return, and it will be worse!
Although exercise seems painful to start with, it really does work. Eat a few bananas as well and your hangover could be sent on its way.
Whatever you do, DON’T curl up in the fetal position with greasy food, the blinds down and your fave soap. Unless of course you have nothing better to do, in which case….why not?!
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