Ranking the six types of Cambridge relationships

The good, the bad, and the academically rigorous

To those of you who clicked on this article, you clearly weren’t repulsed by the word “relationship,” meaning you’re probably not single, and just in time for Valentine’s – congratulations!!

To help entertain you and your partner on this exciting day, here’s a definitive rank of all the types of relationships you find at Cambridge uni:

6. The long-distance couple who’ve been together since year 9

One of them went to Cambridge, the other one did not (dun-dun-DUN!), but they decided to stick it out. And here they are years later, definitely still happy with their relationship, despite the fact they’re actively crushing on five different people they saw in the library that afternoon.

5. The inseparable couple

You know the ones – they’re never seen without each other because they do the same subject and live on the same staircase, in the same college. Not only that, but they seemingly spend all of their time together cuddling, holding hands or making out (ugh) – even in lectures!

4. The “friends”

You know they’ve definitely done more than what is generally permitted between friends, the whole group knows, but no one seems to have cowboyed up and demanded them to spill the tea (yet).

3. The healthy couple with a normal social life

Lol, boring and unrealistic if you ask me. Such a fantasy is simply unattainable in this fast-paced academic economy. But well done if you’ve managed to attain this, you go, Glen Coco!

Get yourself a man for the sake of May Ball pics, if nothing else (Image credits: Emily Bell)

2. The mismatched couple

One of them is insufferably “Type A” and has their life together more than you thought was possible by the ripe old age of 20, and the other one rocks up to lectures 18 minutes late every day, clutching three cans of Red Bull. They do say opposites attract after all!

Honestly, it’s giving Jake and Amy from Brooklyn 99, and I’m here for it.

1. The competitive academic power couple

Let’s not lie – you wish you were them! Both of them are tripos toppers, despite spending next to no time in the library. Both of them are academic powerhouses independently, but when they come together by sharing study notes and collaborating on group projects, they are simply unstoppable! I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – you go, Glen Coco!


Feature image credits: Keira Quirk


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