Define ‘Cambridge University’: The very best of Urban Dictionary

#idiot #moron #wanker #virgin #poncey bastard #cleverdom


Urban Dictionary, the crowdsourced online dictionary originally created to define slang terms, is a popular source of enlightenment, amusement and ridicule. I was very amused to read the various definitions of 'Cambridge University'. I wasn't exactly enlightened, but they did make me realise just how much people hate Cambridge. And they certainly made me feel ridiculed as a student here.

Urban Dictionary might be something of a guilty pleasure for you. Have you ever searched your own name? Or maybe you resort to consulting it when you're messaging your edgier friends. Either way, I'm sure you'll be interested to see what the rest of the world thinks about Cambridge. Needless to say, we didn't get many glowing reviews…

1. Well-endowed bastards

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"Less well endowed"… I read that as a compliment at first, then realised it was an insult, and a rather harsh one at that.

2. Apparently we are all fairies…

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By 'Cambridge University'… sounds legit. And which Dave are they referring to? Mysterious.

3. …Or pimps?

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I'm not sure if the author of this definition quite understands the meaning of the word 'ponce'…

4. It's all drink, drugs and sex

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Number one criteria for selecting candidates for entry to Cambridge is obviously virginity. I know of some who are still waiting for their organ scholar to come out of the woodwork…

5. We're ALL from London

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And who calls it 'Cambs uni'?

6. A sound uni where we don't tolerate 68 per cent of our student body

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The interesting thing about these definitions is that they all reflect popular but false stereotypes about Cambridge, suggesting that there is a huge amount of ignorance.

Granted, the posh, entitled, stuck-up-their-own-arse types which these definitions refer to do exist, but from my experience, they constitute a small minority.