QUEXIT: Queens’ call for referendum to leave CUSU
CUSU: Better off out?
An underground campaign calling for disaffiliation from CUSU has emerged from the walls of Queens’ College. In an anonymous parody of UKIP’s Brexit campaign, the dissidents have called for a referendum.
The recent anger against the incompetency of CUSU, especially in the light of their association with NUS, the controversial appointment of Malia Bouttai as NUS President, and the cancelling of the print of TCS, has now been vocalised in the most potent terms: a demand for a vote.
The self-proclaimed ‘network of underground activists’ has announced their intention of making the ultimate break from the EU (sorry, CUSU). Drawing on the intriguing parallels between UKIP’s BREXIT campaign and the rising vendetta against CUSU, students of Queens’ have launched the ‘Quexit’ campaign to sever all ties with their CUSU overlords.
Emerging from the shadows – that is the murky, red-brick fortifications of Queens’ – members of the ‘QUEXIT’ campaign have cited the ‘success of the Norwegian model of Caius’ as a promise of the ‘special status’ which could similarly be afforded to Queens’.
The campaign further adds: “We firmly believe that we will be able to withdraw our contributions to CU$U and continue to receive exactly the same benefits and services without making any concessions”, adding to the turbulence facing CUSU over the last few weeks.
Dissatisfaction with the current coalition, particularly with the ‘Potato Portion Size Directive’ which has hit the hard-working students in their pockets and stomachs, takes aim at the bureaucratic, money-grabbing tactics of CUSU, and by association, NUS.
The dissident campaign vying for the return of the sovereignty of the college has met with some controversy amongst supporters of the current coalition of Queens’ JCR who have assured their troubled subjects that they will discuss the issue of a referendum, whilst offering a begrudging nod to the wit of the revolutionaries.
The JCR also promised to publish ‘a really interesting and lovely’ six-page document which would detail what leaving CUSU would mean for the college. Whilst it is unclear whether Queens’ JCR intend to spend £9 million of the taxpayer’s money on their leaflet, it is certain that the voices of the QUEXIT campaign will remain undeterred.
The leading economies of the university (looking at you, Trinity) are yet to comment on the island nation’s call for independence from CUSU, but we can speculate that it will be met with dismissive sneers all round.