Jack Benda and Ellie Olcott round up the weekly news
Supercilious Summary
These last couple of weeks have been an apt prelude to what promises to be a term of turmoil. The Union have released their cocktail-menu shaped termcard, while The Tab have opened nominations for “Cambridge’s biggest BNOC”, possibly the most self indulgent search since our “Most Eligible Bachelors” #lestweforget. Punting problems have also taken the limelight recently: from axe-wielding punt-puncturers to aggressive, urinating, unlicensed punting tour touts, it would seem a peaceful Scudamore’s tour is just too mainstream.
It has been announced that Ban Ki-moon, “supreme overlord” of the UN and key figure in the creation of “UN Women”, will be dropping by Senate House to collect his honorary law doctorate. In other news, Tim Hunt, UCL’s scientist sexile and self-confessed “chauvinist monster”, spoke to SciSoc on the 12th of January. Despite criticism from some, our own Tab poll has overwhelmingly suggested that it was “right” SciSoc invited him because he’s a “brilliant scientist”.
In more uplifting news, the “Match4lara” campaign – a massive drive to find potential stem cell donors to treat Lara’s Leukaemia – has been tremendously successful in Cambridge. Over 650 people have joined the Anthony Nolan register and you too can join here.
Barbara Cantab
Just an ordinary student’s take on the news.
Labour Logography
Over the evidently much-needed Christmas break, CULC sent out an email apologising for spelling the email address of the Cambridge “Unviersity” Labour club wrong. However, the “more Eagle eyed among you” may wonder why they went on to spell the name of their esteemed party “laboour” in their correction email. Well, at least they wished us festove tidings.
Champagne slave economists
In other news, the Cambridge Jewish Society’s “Prince of Egypt” 2016 Spring Ball launch has attracted some perhaps awkward observations on Facebook. We will let you judge this one for yourself…
Pitt Produce
If some of you were at a loss at to what to buy your loved ones for Christmas, you could have sought inspiration from the Pitt Club’s merchandise. You can choose from the collection of Summer Tie, Bow Tie and Pocket Square for a mere £69. Or, if the summer shades don’t tickle your fancy, why not go for the slightly darker shade of blue and buy the winter tie and bow tie for £54.
A conscientious member of the public has aptly renamed the club in accordance with its status as a “socially exclusive, invitation-only club for male students”. A sign for the “neo-classical clubhouse” hanging in the entrance to Pizza Express has been duly vandalised.
All for One, One for All
The Union term card was released this week. As Union members rushed to their pigeon holes desperate to find out which big names would be stopping in, they might have been left a little disappointed that the promise of more diversity wasn’t exactly adhered to. Intriguingly, out of the 13 speakers coming to speak this term, only 3 are women. This comes after a pledge made in the current Speakers Officer’s manifesto (and almost every manifesto since feminism became cool) to increase the “number of women speakers we have at the Union”. The Union, as ever, provides great training for a future in the politics of false promises.
In other news, some rather uncomfortable skeletons were dug out of the Union closet. This is an old card, featuring the motion, “This House regrets the emancipation of Women” posted by Easter Union President Charlotte Ivers.
The Cheating Students
Our Deputy Editor Jon Cooper was amused to see the ex-editor’s diary in The Cambridge Student erroneously claiming that Oxford student paper Cherwell ran a headline saying, “Oxford 20 times better at detecting cheating than Cambridge”.
Unfortunately for The Cambridge Student, Jon had sent a photoshopped version ofCherwell (below) to the departing editor Jack May, under the assumption he would understand the joke.
The Yu-Gi-Oh! Master
It hasn’t been all doom and gloom this week. The new Trinity’s Master’s portrait has been unveiled to much enthusiasm. The painting of Sir Gregory Winter, who was appointed Master of the college in 2012, has caused mixed emotions in college. Some have been saying the painting is overly modern, even going as far as to say it resembles a Yu-Gi-Oh! card. Credit to Magpie and Stump for noticing the uncanny similarity.
Playing God(spell)
The Tab Editors were caught by surprise when looking over who had offered to write reviews for plays this term. It struck them as strange that the director of the play “Godspell” Will Popplewell also attempted to write a review for the play. A caution was sent out by one of the senior editors, warning against such attempted deception.
Tabocracy
In a desperate attempt to salvage the once lively comment section of The Tab, an article entitled “The Tab comments section sucks balls right now” delivered a valiant case for its resurrection. We are introducing a new “Comment of the week” at the end of the News Bulletin in the vain hope that some of you will be inspired to write more lurid, sensationalist or outright outrageous comments. Could you be the next Sensitive Scholar?
This week’s most eye-catching comment comes from David on Daisy’s “Fuck Cambridge lad culture – tits, bevs and banter belong in the past“.
Until then, see you next week Cantabs.
@EllieOlcott
The News Bulletin, Week 1: Egyptian controversy, TCS misunderstandings and Trinity Yu-Gi-Oh!
Jack Benda and Ellie Olcott round up the weekly news
CAMBRIDGE
Supercilious Summary
These last couple of weeks have been an apt prelude to what promises to be a term of turmoil. The Union have released their cocktail-menu shaped termcard, while The Tab have opened nominations for “Cambridge’s biggest BNOC”, possibly the most self indulgent search since our “Most Eligible Bachelors” #lestweforget. Punting problems have also taken the limelight recently: from axe-wielding punt-puncturers to aggressive, urinating, unlicensed punting tour touts, it would seem a peaceful Scudamore’s tour is just too mainstream.
It has been announced that Ban Ki-moon, “supreme overlord” of the UN and key figure in the creation of “UN Women”, will be dropping by Senate House to collect his honorary law doctorate. In other news, Tim Hunt, UCL’s scientist sexile and self-confessed “chauvinist monster”, spoke to SciSoc on the 12th of January. Despite criticism from some, our own Tab poll has overwhelmingly suggested that it was “right” SciSoc invited him because he’s a “brilliant scientist”.
In more uplifting news, the “Match4lara” campaign – a massive drive to find potential stem cell donors to treat Lara’s Leukaemia – has been tremendously successful in Cambridge. Over 650 people have joined the Anthony Nolan register and you too can join here.
Barbara Cantab
Just an ordinary student’s take on the news.
Labour Logography
Over the evidently much-needed Christmas break, CULC sent out an email apologising for spelling the email address of the Cambridge “Unviersity” Labour club wrong. However, the “more Eagle eyed among you” may wonder why they went on to spell the name of their esteemed party “laboour” in their correction email. Well, at least they wished us festove tidings.
Champagne slave economists
In other news, the Cambridge Jewish Society’s “Prince of Egypt” 2016 Spring Ball launch has attracted some perhaps awkward observations on Facebook. We will let you judge this one for yourself…
Pitt Produce
If some of you were at a loss at to what to buy your loved ones for Christmas, you could have sought inspiration from the Pitt Club’s merchandise. You can choose from the collection of Summer Tie, Bow Tie and Pocket Square for a mere £69. Or, if the summer shades don’t tickle your fancy, why not go for the slightly darker shade of blue and buy the winter tie and bow tie for £54.
A conscientious member of the public has aptly renamed the club in accordance with its status as a “socially exclusive, invitation-only club for male students”. A sign for the “neo-classical clubhouse” hanging in the entrance to Pizza Express has been duly vandalised.
All for One, One for All
The Union term card was released this week. As Union members rushed to their pigeon holes desperate to find out which big names would be stopping in, they might have been left a little disappointed that the promise of more diversity wasn’t exactly adhered to. Intriguingly, out of the 13 speakers coming to speak this term, only 3 are women. This comes after a pledge made in the current Speakers Officer’s manifesto (and almost every manifesto since feminism became cool) to increase the “number of women speakers we have at the Union”. The Union, as ever, provides great training for a future in the politics of false promises.
In other news, some rather uncomfortable skeletons were dug out of the Union closet. This is an old card, featuring the motion, “This House regrets the emancipation of Women” posted by Easter Union President Charlotte Ivers.
The Cheating Students
Our Deputy Editor Jon Cooper was amused to see the ex-editor’s diary in The Cambridge Student erroneously claiming that Oxford student paper Cherwell ran a headline saying, “Oxford 20 times better at detecting cheating than Cambridge”.
Unfortunately for The Cambridge Student, Jon had sent a photoshopped version ofCherwell (below) to the departing editor Jack May, under the assumption he would understand the joke.
The Yu-Gi-Oh! Master
It hasn’t been all doom and gloom this week. The new Trinity’s Master’s portrait has been unveiled to much enthusiasm. The painting of Sir Gregory Winter, who was appointed Master of the college in 2012, has caused mixed emotions in college. Some have been saying the painting is overly modern, even going as far as to say it resembles a Yu-Gi-Oh! card. Credit to Magpie and Stump for noticing the uncanny similarity.
Playing God(spell)
The Tab Editors were caught by surprise when looking over who had offered to write reviews for plays this term. It struck them as strange that the director of the play “Godspell” Will Popplewell also attempted to write a review for the play. A caution was sent out by one of the senior editors, warning against such attempted deception.
Tabocracy
In a desperate attempt to salvage the once lively comment section of The Tab, an article entitled “The Tab comments section sucks balls right now” delivered a valiant case for its resurrection. We are introducing a new “Comment of the week” at the end of the News Bulletin in the vain hope that some of you will be inspired to write more lurid, sensationalist or outright outrageous comments. Could you be the next Sensitive Scholar?
This week’s most eye-catching comment comes from David on Daisy’s “Fuck Cambridge lad culture – tits, bevs and banter belong in the past“.
Until then, see you next week Cantabs.
@EllieOlcott
CAMBRIDGE
‘Maybe try a different course’: Ranking Cambridge University lecturers’ brutal comments
CAMBRIDGE
No wonder Cambridge students always look stressed
Quiz: Find out where you’d sit in the Cambridge University college boat club eight
CAMBRIDGE
You go to Cambridge and don’t row? How else do you spend your free time?
Cambridge University college to install climbing wall inside 150 year old church tower
CAMBRIDGE
Pembroke has already converted the church on Trumpington Street into an auditorium
Cambridge University to ban use of the term ‘Oxbridge’ due to elitist connotations
CAMBRIDGE
Anyone caught using the word will be forced to undertake a mandatory ‘inclusivity training’
St John’s College Cambridge now has control over the SJV choir’s social media
CAMBRIDGE
The petition to save the mixed choir is supported by the former archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams
Cambridge University temporarily halts funding from fossil fuel companies
CAMBRIDGE
A report found that donations from oil and gas companies posed a ‘high reputational risk’ for the university
Eight cafés to try in Cambridge as a student before you graduate from university
CAMBRIDGE
Spoiler alert: Fitzbillies isn’t the only coffee shop in Cambridge
St John’s College Cambridge mixed choir is being disbanded
CAMBRIDGE
The decision means female sopranos will no longer be able to sing in any chapel services
Cambridge University colleges as songs with women’s names in the title
CAMBRIDGE
Get ready to update your playlist immediately x
Cambridge reading week – yay or nay?
CAMBRIDGE
All this reading isn’t for the weak
Cambridge men lose on penalties at the 150th anniversary of Varsity football
CAMBRIDGE
Cambridge was forced to substitute its goalkeeper following an injury on the third minute
THE RESULTS: Cambridge vs Oxford women’s football 2024
CAMBRIDGE
A short summary of the Varsity match for those of you who know nothing about football
Cambridge’s smallest pub has reopened after four years
CAMBRIDGE
Here’s everything you need to know about The Rad, a tiny pub on King Street
Review: Blackadder Goes Forth – Cambridge Does Comic Relief
CAMBRIDGE
A performance that did justice to the much-loved British comedy
Paint thrown over Cambridge University West site building in protest of its ties to Israel
CAMBRIDGE
Cambridge’s Laboratory for Scientific Computing has been under fire for its links to arms companies
A moral alignment ranking of Cambridge college rowing blade designs
CAMBRIDGE
Totally objective (based on free speed and vibez)
A definitive ranking of Cambridge stash from ugly to just about wearable
CAMBRIDGE
It’s me and my puffer against the world
THE REVEAL: Cambridge’s Top 10 BNOCs 2024
CAMBRIDGE
Never have I ever kissed a BNOC…
Review: Emma
CAMBRIDGE
An Austenite’s dream! (and Jane’s own nightmare)
Who are the candidates running for election at the Cambridge Union?
CAMBRIDGE
Voting opens Thursday 7th March after the weekly debate
Everything Jack O’Connell has been up to since breaking all our hearts as Cook in Skins
UK
He’s now starring in the new Amy Winehouse biopic Back To Black
From absolute legends to losers, the definitive ranking of Coachella’s biggest headliners
UK
There’s been the best of shows, there’s been the worst of shows
Baby Reindeer’s confusing and symbolic ending explained: What happens to Donny and Martha?
UK
My head is spinning
Tori has finally spilled what her friendship status is now with the other MAFS Australia girls
UK
‘What those girls did to me was not friendship’
All of Taylor Swift’s sly digs at ex Joe Alwyn in new album The Tortured Poets Department
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No one is safe!
Madeleine complains that her MAFS Australia edit made her look like a ‘batsh*t crazy b*tch’
UK
The psychic medium said that producers ‘pushed on a relationship topic that she didn’t want to go into’
MAFS Australia bride says groom broke up with her ‘out of the blue’ and won’t reply to her
UK
‘He won’t reply to me. He hasn’t replied’
A body language expert says Jack and Tori are lying about having sex on MAFS Australia
UK
‘Do I think they had proper sex? No’
Everything Eden and Jayden have been up to since their messy run on MAFS Australia
UK
Apparently they broke up FOUR TIMES after filming finished
This is why everyone thinks Taylor Swift’s song thanK you aIMee is about Kim Kardashian
UK
The title literally spells out KIM!!
All the savage Matty Healy lyrics Taylor Swift sings on The Tortured Poets Department
UK
‘They shake their heads and say God help her when I tell them he’s my man’
Richard Gadd speaks about how similar Baby Reindeer’s Martha actually is to his real stalker
UK
She did actually send him over 41,071 emails and leave 350 hours of voicemails
Student at £43,000 a year private school ‘smashed the skulls’ of two students with hammer
UK
The 17-year-old also tried to kill a teacher in ‘horrific attack’
After a tumultous MAFS Australia 2024 homestay, are Lucinda and Timothy still together?
UK
Rooting for them ngl
What have Timothy and Lucinda been up to since their MAFS Australia 2024 homestay fight?
UK
They’re still besties!
Here’s where to watch Richard Gadd next if you’re obsessed with Netflix’s Baby Reindeer
UK
He’s in a police show with Stephen Graham!
Digs at Davide to Lorraine Kelly drama: What Ekin-Su has been up to since Celeb Big Brother
UK
She’s been in the headlines a lot lately
Inside Nava Mau’s vibey life when she’s not playing the best character in Baby Reindeer
UK
Fully obsessed with her
After their tense homestay, are Jack and Tori still together after MAFS Australia 2024?
UK
I need answers immediately
Yikes! A snippet of Taylor Swift’s new album has allegedly leaked and people are SLATING it
UK
‘We declared Charlie Puth should be a bigger artist’ is an actual lyric
Inside the life of Walton Goggins, the Fallout ghoul everyone is weirdly crushing on
UK
Yes, it’s possible to thirst after a man who looks like a carved pumpkin