Deep down, we all know the comments section is responsible for 99% of The Tab’s success.
Not long ago, to become a regular commenter on this site was to stroll in the same hallowed cyberspace as Greg Hill, Stephen Hawking and Vermin Longtooth.
And to become a commenter who regularly picked up 40+ up-votes was, as far as I can see, to become a winner.
We can all see who is winning here
With the majestic launch of The Tab in six US colleges just two weeks ago, our glorious student paper is well on its way to world domination (#sorrynotsorryreallyunsorry Varsity).
But I can’t help feeling that the nurturing, community vibe of The Cambridge Tab has been somewhat forgotten amidst all of this flourishing success.
The Tab is no longer a gory battlefield of bile and resentment, a battlefield which thoroughly reifies the Facebook fad “justifying completely inappropriate and unacceptable behaviour as banter”, and which successfully got the creative juices flowing at eleven o’clock every morning. This reality sucks. And I’m not trying to be ‘satirical’.
Back in the day, Ken Cheng wasn’t just for Facebook
What on earth is the point of writing a Tab article if it, the author, and a completely unrelated assortment of à-la-mode BNOCs aren’t instantly ripped to pieces in the comments section with a few haikus thrown in? Why read news online if not for the healthy commentic bloodbath? Why has the Daily Mail managed to clasp on to its thriving backbone of anger and stupidity, when our ‘neither funny nor clever’* student newspaper hasn’t? Where are you, A Sensitive Scholar? Must we accept that Nina De Paula Hanikah, Richard Alty, Will Thong and Tinie Tempah are irreplaceable, and no longer a thing? Et tu, Greg Hill? (actually, 1,221 words later we all know exactly where you are and perhaps aren’t altogether the better for it). Still, these remain fine, reasonable questions.
Your glory days are over, GH
I can get over the fact that were I to have been reading The Tab four years ago I could’ve grabbed myself a £10 student discount from Il Barbiere on Mondays through to Fridays.
This, too, was a thing
Features doesn’t even have a section anymore, let alone Fit College. And that’s vaguely ok.
(Mega lol at ‘offended?’)
But the comments section is something I cannot amiably let go of, and it is something we should all be fighting for. Freshers included. I shall not go down without a fight!! The Tab must #BringBackUpvotes
No one is on the making-an-account-to-up-vote hype. Well. Maybe there is that one person. Sometimes a comment gets one up-vote and I just sit there thinking. Who made an account so they could up-vote this?
And you, reader, would do well to hop on the banter-wagon and clatter off into the sunset with us. Someone literally wrote an article about how to buy drugs online this week and there is no comments section on it. WHAT!
We are currently stamping on a vast multiplex of wordplay and strife which took years to carefully construct. It is disrespectful and, frankly, not ok.
Please show your support for the #BBU campaign and feel free to rip every aspect of me, my unfunniness, and, indeed, Ken Cheng, to shreds in the comments section below.
I am a wholly embarrassing person.
The Tab comments section sucks balls right now
I feel nostalgic for a Tab I never properly got to experience
CAMBRIDGE
Deep down, we all know the comments section is responsible for 99% of The Tab’s success.
Not long ago, to become a regular commenter on this site was to stroll in the same hallowed cyberspace as Greg Hill, Stephen Hawking and Vermin Longtooth.
And to become a commenter who regularly picked up 40+ up-votes was, as far as I can see, to become a winner.
We can all see who is winning here
With the majestic launch of The Tab in six US colleges just two weeks ago, our glorious student paper is well on its way to world domination (#sorrynotsorryreallyunsorry Varsity).
But I can’t help feeling that the nurturing, community vibe of The Cambridge Tab has been somewhat forgotten amidst all of this flourishing success.
The Tab is no longer a gory battlefield of bile and resentment, a battlefield which thoroughly reifies the Facebook fad “justifying completely inappropriate and unacceptable behaviour as banter”, and which successfully got the creative juices flowing at eleven o’clock every morning. This reality sucks. And I’m not trying to be ‘satirical’.
Back in the day, Ken Cheng wasn’t just for Facebook
What on earth is the point of writing a Tab article if it, the author, and a completely unrelated assortment of à-la-mode BNOCs aren’t instantly ripped to pieces in the comments section with a few haikus thrown in? Why read news online if not for the healthy commentic bloodbath? Why has the Daily Mail managed to clasp on to its thriving backbone of anger and stupidity, when our ‘neither funny nor clever’* student newspaper hasn’t? Where are you, A Sensitive Scholar? Must we accept that Nina De Paula Hanikah, Richard Alty, Will Thong and Tinie Tempah are irreplaceable, and no longer a thing? Et tu, Greg Hill? (actually, 1,221 words later we all know exactly where you are and perhaps aren’t altogether the better for it). Still, these remain fine, reasonable questions.
Your glory days are over, GH
I can get over the fact that were I to have been reading The Tab four years ago I could’ve grabbed myself a £10 student discount from Il Barbiere on Mondays through to Fridays.
This, too, was a thing
Features doesn’t even have a section anymore, let alone Fit College. And that’s vaguely ok.
(Mega lol at ‘offended?’)
But the comments section is something I cannot amiably let go of, and it is something we should all be fighting for. Freshers included. I shall not go down without a fight!! The Tab must #BringBackUpvotes
No one is on the making-an-account-to-up-vote hype. Well. Maybe there is that one person. Sometimes a comment gets one up-vote and I just sit there thinking. Who made an account so they could up-vote this?
And you, reader, would do well to hop on the banter-wagon and clatter off into the sunset with us. Someone literally wrote an article about how to buy drugs online this week and there is no comments section on it. WHAT!
We are currently stamping on a vast multiplex of wordplay and strife which took years to carefully construct. It is disrespectful and, frankly, not ok.
Please show your support for the #BBU campaign and feel free to rip every aspect of me, my unfunniness, and, indeed, Ken Cheng, to shreds in the comments section below.
I am a wholly embarrassing person.
CAMBRIDGE
St John’s College Cambridge now has control over the SJV choir’s social media
CAMBRIDGE
The petition to save the mixed choir is supported by the former archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams
Cambridge University temporarily halts funding from fossil fuel companies
CAMBRIDGE
A report found that donations from oil and gas companies posed a ‘high reputational risk’ for the university
Eight cafés to try in Cambridge as a student before you graduate from university
CAMBRIDGE
Spoiler alert: Fitzbillies isn’t the only coffee shop in Cambridge
St John’s College Cambridge mixed choir is being disbanded
CAMBRIDGE
The decision means female sopranos will no longer be able to sing in any chapel services
Cambridge University colleges as songs with women’s names in the title
CAMBRIDGE
Get ready to update your playlist immediately x
Cambridge reading week – yay or nay?
CAMBRIDGE
All this reading isn’t for the weak
Cambridge men lose on penalties at the 150th anniversary of Varsity football
CAMBRIDGE
Cambridge was forced to substitute its goalkeeper following an injury on the third minute
THE RESULTS: Cambridge vs Oxford women’s football 2024
CAMBRIDGE
A short summary of the Varsity match for those of you who know nothing about football
Cambridge’s smallest pub has reopened after four years
CAMBRIDGE
Here’s everything you need to know about The Rad, a tiny pub on King Street
Review: Blackadder Goes Forth – Cambridge Does Comic Relief
CAMBRIDGE
A performance that did justice to the much-loved British comedy
Paint thrown over Cambridge University West site building in protest of its ties to Israel
CAMBRIDGE
Cambridge’s Laboratory for Scientific Computing has been under fire for its links to arms companies
A moral alignment ranking of Cambridge college rowing blade designs
CAMBRIDGE
Totally objective (based on free speed and vibez)
A definitive ranking of Cambridge stash from ugly to just about wearable
CAMBRIDGE
It’s me and my puffer against the world
THE REVEAL: Cambridge’s Top 10 BNOCs 2024
CAMBRIDGE
Never have I ever kissed a BNOC…
Review: Emma
CAMBRIDGE
An Austenite’s dream! (and Jane’s own nightmare)
Who are the candidates running for election at the Cambridge Union?
CAMBRIDGE
Voting opens Thursday 7th March after the weekly debate
Leading ladies: Cambridge’s best female alumnae
CAMBRIDGE
In honour of international Women’s Day
Review: Neighbourhood Watch
CAMBRIDGE
Nothing bad happens in suburbia…right?
Cambridge students organise protest against Trinity College’s ties to Israel
CAMBRIDGE
The action comes after Trinity was issued a legal notice asking it to divest from its investments in arms companies
The highlights and lowlights of Cambridge Lent Bumps 2024, as told by Rowbridge posts
CAMBRIDGE
Forget CamFM and WC, Rowbridge has all the coverage you need
Two weeks after split from Adam, Love Island’s Arabella is dating a Premiership footballer
UK
She has a type!
MAFS Australia set to be rocked by a HUGE cheating scandal involving Jono and Ellie
UK
They were secretly messaging each other throughout MAFS
Ranking all of Sydney Sweeney’s roles by how hard they slayed
UK
She ate her Immaculate performance up and left no crumbs, nun at all
In full: The letter MAFS Australia’s Ben wrote to Ellie listing all the things he hates about her
UK
It includes her vaping, and waking up when he walks into the bedroom
Omg, Jayden and Eden ‘agreed to be puppets’ to get more airtime on MAFS Australia
UK
‘Producers told them they needed to cause drama or go home’
Tori and Jack are charging fans a whopping $118 for a MAFS Australia meet and greet?!
UK
You couldn’t pay me to shake his hand
Selling Sunset agent Chelsea Lazkani files for divorce from her businessman husband
UK
He’s the father of their two young children
Um, Ridge is apparently launching a whole ‘deece’ clothing line around his MAFS catchhrase
UK
I’ll be decked out from head to toe
Awkward! These are officially the least popular Russell Group universities in 2024
UK
Cambridge students everywhere crying as we speak
Inside Samie from Love Island’s cute holiday where she’s hard launched her new boyfriend
UK
A bit obsessed
Ella May Ding just absolutely dragged Jayden from MAFS Australia on a podcast
UK
She didn’t hold back, obviously
Two huge editing errors prove this week has been the most staged on MAFS Australia 2024
UK
I’m rolling my eyes
Here’s where Cara Delevingne preaching about house music on your TikTok is actually from
UK
‘It’s about time you fell in love with something that will love you back!’
Um, Chelsea now has her own merch range with cringe Love Is Blind sayings on it
UK
I’ll take four ‘Megan Faux’ caps, please
Zayn Malik to Calvin Harris: All the celebs who’ve quit Hollywood to live on a farm
UK
Finding out that Jeffree Star is farming yaks was not on my 2024 bingo card
Explained: This is how to delete your Temu account if you want your soul back
UK
Lots of regrets rn
One year on, this is how the winter Love Island couples’ lives have changed since the show
UK
From lambing season to engagements it’s been a busy year
Private jets to £10K a night holidays: All of Molly Mae’s biggest controversies
UK
‘She’s Margaret Thatcher with a fake tan’
Just all of the best Temu memes to console you if you’ve signed your soul away for £40
UK
Temu’s terms and conditions says it can use your ‘likeness, voice and opinion’ however it likes
Lauren and Jono were edited out of MAFS Australia family and friends week for savage reason
UK
Ngl I’d be a bit embarrassed
Where to watch Kaya Scodelario next if you loved her as Susie Glass in The Gentlemen
UK
We’re all obsessed