Stephen Fry is in town – Where will he go?

Stephen Fry, National Treasure and professional smartarse, has today been spotted returning to the city that gave him a degree all those years ago.

But, much to the chagrin of his avid fans, the Man whose brain launched a thousand quips is proving somewhat elusive.

The Tab would like to offer some suggestions for the keen Fry-spiers among you as to where the great man might end up:

Small Fry Chip Shop

No, we don’t know where it is either

Little know fact: Stephen actually owns the Small Fry takeaway. He started it whilst at Cambridge in protest against the low quality of kebabs in the city. Its produce was supplied by Hugh Laurie’s short-lived transportation company, Hugh’s Vans inc.

His rapport with customers was so great many suggested he try his hand at comedy. Workers at the Van of Life apply there in an attempt to follow in his footsteps.

Medwards/Newnham

Spot the breast-shaped objects in the picture

Stephen Fry will no doubt want to be reminded of the zenith of his career, the paradigm-shifting, intellectually-rich epic that was St Trinians. What better way to do that than to visit to one of Cambridge’s very own all-female colleges?

Ted Loveday’s Room

If there were a national celebration of the pair, it would be called Fryday

Could the two University Challenge competitors team up to power Cambridge simply with the force of their BNOC status? Would the sight of them together bring the city to a standstill? Could they work together to put Paxo in his place through formation of University Challenge’s first ever supergroup duo?

Needless to say, the two would probably converse solely in Hapax Legomena.

Exam Hall

This is not accurate. No-one is questioning what they have been doing for the past 3 years.

Because 2:1 in English from Queens’ just hasn’t opened enough job prospects for our Steve.

To see Stephen Hawking

Is it possible for a famous person to come through Cambridge and NOT see the Hawkster?

Given Hawking’s track record and the fact they share a name, this is basically inevitable.

Queens’ College

Despite popular misconception, Stephen was not “born” in the conventional sense but instead spawned in Queens’ grounds. Rumour has it that within 4 hours he was correcting Erasmus’ spelling mistakes.

With Queens’ not having announced its May Ball headline act, speculation abounds of a potential appearance from the alumni, probably with backing music from Azeem.

Beckham Spotting

Stephen wants in on what would undoubtedly be an epic PR move

In the wake of the flurry of excitement surrounding David and his family’s recent visit to Cambridge, is this the real reason Stephen is here? Waiting in anticipation on Orgasm bridge, selfie stick in hand, ready to capture the footballing legend engaging in an afternoon punt?