Rumpus on campus as mystery meat found on Downing Paddock

We’re not steaking the piss

Downing College steak

Downing College has woken up to a steak-out this morning as a mysterious wedge of meat was discovered on the Paddock.

Forensic specialists (the plodge) quickly identified it as a rump steak, and an e-mail was broadcast to all College members a few hours ago seeking to reunite the meat enthusiast with their lost prize.

The public service announcement broadcast this morning

The Tab was able to gain photographic evidence of the rare find, and can exclusively reveal that the window of opportunity for a rump-unctious reunion was just 24 hours as the steak is due out of date today.

Conspiracy theories on the Overheard at Cambridge page where the story first surfaced were rife, with some sardonically suggesting that the steak had “fallen out of the sky”.

The plodge’s message was clear: steak it or leave it

Within hours, however, John Wylde, a third year Natsci, came forward to identify himself as the culprit.

The man behind the meat seemed fairly unfazed: “The Paddock is a great place to marinate a steak – it ages very well.”

The fate of the steak is a happy one – it has been donated to the 2nd year MML-er, Irini, who found it.

What a job well done.