The Best Places to Cry in Cambridge

BETH SWORDS asks are you crying in the right place and in the right way? You are now.

adrax allan crying frodo gandalf great court hangover Lord of the Rings sadness stress swamp Trinity

It’s Easter. We all know what we’re here to do. Our conversations have transitioned from the “How are you? – I’m fine” paradigm to the “How are you? – Oh my God, don’t talk to me, can’t you see I’m stressed” mode.

But, outside of working hard, anything goes during this term. If it helps you calm down, then it’s legit. If that girl in the Seeley library wants to wear grey on grey, then so be it. If that guy’s attire in the Law Library wants to resemble a sleeping bag made of limp fleece, then let him have his moment.

We all have different coping mechanisms. However, that age-old, anthropologically-constant outlet we all fall back on during this Exam Term is often a good ol cry. But where to let loose? Follow this, the Best Places to Cry Round Cambridge, to use your weepy session most effectively.

The Bracing Cry

Head over to Castle Mound with a ball of anger and raw emotion bubbling beneath the surface. Stand afoot the Mound and let it go. Most think the common ‘Battle Cry’ is one calling to arms, violence and aggression during war. This is a misconception. The actual battle cry is of a soldier, cowering in the corner involving fear, emotion and most importantly, the elements. Incorporating the elements into your cry makes it an all-encompassing experience. The wind will evaporate your tears to leave you feeling invigorated and cleansed.

Frodo on Castle Mound, moments before he enters his History of Political Thought exam

The Pensive Cry

This one makes no sound. There is nothing fundamentally wrong with your life. You just think it timely to mark the end of a revision supervision or timed essay with an outward expression of emotion. Head to somewhere atmospheric like the Fitzwilliam Museum for this. Then you can link this cry to a cry at the wonder of history and the marvel of art that surrounds you.

The Public Cry

If a tree falls in a wood and no one’s around to hear it, does it make a sound? If you sob alone in your room and no one’s there to see it, did you really cry at all? Reap as much as you can from a mental breakdown. Head over to your college bar, buttery or perhaps even the plodge to ensure your hysteria is the first thing tourists see as they come and go. For maximal intercollegiate sympathy, head over to Sidgewick Arc Café to see arts students’ heightened levels of humanity.

55 seconds in:

The pitch of this is sufficiently high to resemble a call of distress, but not too high to empty a public area.

The ‘No Inhibitions’ Cry

This one you must store up for that special occasion where life caves in on you all at once. Open spaces are good for this. Perhaps, Trinity Great Court, right by the fountain. The fountain will provide a rhythmic symmetry to your own weeping and can also offer a useful structure upon which you can collapse, once your legs give way with anguish.

1 minute 10 seconds in:

Every now and again, you need to let the sadness of the swamps get to you.

 The ‘We Must Go On’ Cry

You’re sat in a lecture. Your lecturer reveals an ‘ism’, equation or theory that is central to a paper – God forbid to your whole degree – that you’ve never heard of before. You feel the impending fizz in your nose and a brave tear trickle down your cheek. Here, the focus is on tears few and far between, poignant deep breaths and no hiccups.

Churchill once said, “We shall fight them on the beaches. We shall fight them in the fields and in the streets.” This quote has no relevance at all here. But, Winston was a brave man and would tell you to let the tears trickle but the courage to persevere boil more fervently.


Displeased, yes? A tear, perhaps? But persevering

So, there you go. Your computer crashes? Head to Trinity Great Court. You realise too late the purpose of termly lectures? Try the Fitzwilliam. There are coping mechanisms, just be open to them.