Theatre Guide Dog: Week 6
THE THEATRE GUIDE DOG prophesies theatre to come. And is having suspicious food cravings. WHAT COULD THIS MEAN?
Loosen your belts, Consumers of Culture, for the veritable feast of thespy ingestables spread before you. Speaking of stomachs, get your last fillings before the gooey delights of…
ECCE VIRGO IN UTERO HABEBIT ET PARIET CANISFILIAM
…sorry about that, before the gooey delights of premature Christmastime theatre…
ET VOCABUNT NOMEN EIUS AMIIONES QUOD EST
…Christmastime theatre descend upon us. Don’t know what’s up with me this week. Should really get this…
INTERPRETATUM NOBISCUM DRAMA
NOBISCUM DRAMA
DRAMA:*
Naked Stage 13th November only
Get a power trip this evening and “be part of the art” as the ADC so compellingly urges you. Deign to let five writerly types place their writerly sacrifices at your princely audience feet.
ADC, 7pm £5-6
Corpus Smoker 14th November only
Just like the funnies at the ADC, but you’re closer to the comedians’ brains when the jokes come out. Featuring people from Norwich this week.
Corpus, 9.30pm, £5-6
East 15th-19th November
Hey, we haven’t had any Berkoff for like TWO WHOLE YEARS. Roll over, Pinter and Stoppard, the scary playwrights are here. “Sex and fury” is deliciously promised. Be cross if it isn’t there for you to lap up eagerly.
Corpus Playroom, 7pm £5-6
FRESHER: The Musical 15th-19th November
If you can’t palate the idea of actual freshers flaunting their shiny unjaded eagerness this week, you can go see some people pretend to be freshers instead. If you’re willing to steel your stomachs and pretend that you remember your Freshers’ Week as some sort of tuneful, pleasant experience that ended in people pairing off into relationships, that is.
Pembroke New Cellars, 7pm £5-6
A Midsummer Night’s Dream 15th-17th November
Get your weekly dose of Bardy Goodness, you’ll grow up big and strong. Though size is not necessarily directly proportional to good taste, mind.
Uppercroft, John’s School of Pythagoras, 7:30pm £4-6
Oedipus: Where Three Roads Meet 15th-19th November
The final dregs of the endless Greek cuisine, thanks to Michaelmas being Tragedy Term for English third years. But metatheatrical re-working might be just the spoonful of sugar to help the incest go down.
Queens’ Fitzpatrick, 7:30pm £5-6
Tartuffe 15th-19th November
Fresh flavourful finger-licking fresher flesh goes on display at last. Scout out the new talent, appetisingly immersed in a sauce of French rhyming couplets. Or just work out which impressionable foetuses to seduce in the bar afterwards.
ADC, 7:45pm £6-10
Beginning, Middle, End 15th-19th November
Get your voyeuristic kicks this week watching a show apparently distilled down from over 600 real-life sexts or something. Pre-book and you might even get a free trip to Paris, so I guess that’s pretty fun.
Corpus Playroom, 9:30pm £5-6
You’ve Burnt the Parsnips 15th-19th November
‘Quirky’ title ending in predictably unpredictable foodstuff can only mean one thing: new student writing. Last week’s serving didn’t go down too well apparently, but I’m informed that parsnips are richer in nutritional content than pies.
Pembroke New Cellars, 9:30pm £3.50-4.50
The Ashenden, Fiddaman and Owen Show 15th November only
Three Footlights alums refuse to leave and creep back to cling to one final night of ADC fame and glory. Sold out, so unless you have your tickets already you’ll just have to suckle on the manna of their golden funniness in the bar afterwards.
ADC, 11pm £5-6
Grimm Tales 16th-19th November
Second dollops of FRESHERY GOODNESS if one wasn’t enough for those particularly keen to scout out/fuck freshers. This time with a dressing of Poet Laureate – consume with caution.
ADC, 11pm £4-6
Celebration 16th-19th November
We consumed our last stageful of Pinter with relish, so cleanse your palates for one of the last offerings of the late Harold, you squirming mass of engorgement. It’s even set in a restaurant for your greedy greedy selves.
Queens’ Fitzpatrick, 11pm
And Then There Were None 17th-19th November
Even more leftovers for those who enjoy Agatha Christie ad nauseam.
Newnham Old Labs, 7pm
The Cocktail Party 18th-20th November
Everyone loves T.S. Eliot. And everyone loves theatre. But the proof of the pudding, friends, is in the eating. Munch munch.
Friends of Peterhouse Theatre, 7:30pm
*The Tab is not responsible for the content of oracular outbursts prophesying the imminent arrival of another, greater saviour of Cambridge Theatre.
Coors
QUIZ: Which college’s Christmas tree is this?
Claudia CoxCelebrate the start of the holidays… by doing another test
Meg Jenkins
Best things to do in Cambridge over the winter break
Akrit AgarwalHere’s a list of things to keep you entertained if you’re staying in Cambridge over the winter break
Strikers organise ‘teach-outs’ at picket lines
Inika MurkumbiTopics covered included labour history, indigenous resistance, and coloniality
Sianna King
Varsity Ski Trip recommends proof of negative coronavirus test ahead of travel this weekend
Poppy RobinsonThis news will affect over three-thousand Oxbridge students that will be travelling to France for the Varsity Ski Trip
12 Oxbridge accounts you need to follow
Keep living your best Oxbridge life while at home this winter!
It’s time to talk about desirability politics at Cambridge
Gabe AbdellatifAre we in control of what we deem desirable?
J4CS claims Senior Tutors have rejected campaign demands
Vedika MandapatiThe Cambridge UCU-run campaign said tutors have “rationalised changing nothing at all in the supervision system”
What Cambridge traditions screamed Bridgemas this year?
hollysheridanTake a sneak peek into how students’ celebrated Bridgemas this year!
King’s College, Cambridge students stage sit-in protest in library after “inadequate” service
The students are lobbying the library to remain open 24-hours as it was pre-pandemic
King’s College, Cambridge without Wi-Fi for six days after cyber ‘incident’
Students have expressed frustration with the college’s actions following the incident
Clare College sees protest against their trans policies
Students were protesting Clare’s decision to take down the trans flag.
Cambridge University re-institutes face-coverings in all indoor shared spaces
This announcement is in light of the Omicron variant
Hughes Hall student launches petition against spiking
The petition is responding to a spiking incident at a college bop
Meet the Cambridge students attempting to break a world record for charity
Sev and George played one-touch-one-bounce football for 24 hours this weekend for Movember
In Pictures: Cambridge colleges graded on climate policy
Rosie Smart-KnightOnly Jesus College, Cambridge passed the exam
The year is nearly over, so it’s time to rank the 25 best albums of 2021
Harrison BrocklehurstFeaturing Adele, Lil Nas X, Lana Del Rey and Doja Cat
Only someone who’s spent way too much time watching Netflix in 2021 can ace this quiz
Hayley SoenSounds perfect for me!!
Is today going to be a bones or no bones day? Take this quiz to find out
Hannah HuangNoodle the pug, give me a bones day please I’m begging xx
A comprehensive list of the best TikTok cleaning hacks to spruce up your grotty uni house
No excuses for living in filth anymore
These are the net worths of The Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip cast
Lydia VennPlease say Ramona does not have the most
I worked out my 2021 Deliveroo Wrapped and I’ve spent over a grand on takeaways
Hannah Van De PeerMy top food moods were bank-checkingly regretful and constantly snacky, hbu?
Listen up: Here’s a definitive guide to the biggest dating app icks of all time
Take notes, this is serious stuff
So here’s how the TikTok algorithm actually works according to this leaked TikTok document
Georgia MooneyThis is the most I’ve learnt since my time before university
Summer Goodkind
You watch it every year, but how well do you really know The Holiday?
Only Jude Law is getting full marks on this quiz
Gavin Williamson hosted a Christmas party while students were being blamed for the pandemic
Danny ShawAt the time students were being told to test, isolate and return home in a ‘travel window’ to keep loved ones safe
No. 10’s Christmas party definitely wasn’t funny, but these 18 reaction memes sure are
There’s nothing quite as unique as British humour x
Rounding up of the youngest ever queens to compete on RuPaul’s Drag Race
When Krystal Versace was 19 she won Drag Race, when I was 19 I was a mess x
Just a third of acts announced for Reading and Leeds include women or non-binary people
Can’t say anyone’s shocked
Presenting the 40 best songs of 2021 – the soundtrack to a chaotic year
Featuring Lil Nas X, Olivia Rodrigo and ABBA
Inside the insanely glamorous homes of the Selling Sunset cast
Of course Christine has a neon ‘Netflix and chill’ sign
