Leaf’s Lunches: Tit Hall

[rating: 2/5]

Trinity Hall Hall is poor. It’s only open for a 45 minute window; surely a hint – “Don’t come here, Go to Pret! Go to Sainsburys!” On a sliding scale of one to ten, the selection was, well, abysmal. There were “fish n’ chips” (more like “fish n’ shits” – actually, unfair, that was the best part of the meal), chilli con carne, a crap salad bar, soup. There was no butter.

I am told that Tit Hall’s food is generally poor but for one day of the week: ‘Good-food Monday’, when they bring out the big dogs – invariably steak and salmon. Thereafter the food reverts to the greyer end of mediocre, conveyor-belting stews, curries and potatoes (curly fried, boiled or baked).

The vegetarian option was disappointing; an anaemic lentil soup accompanied by a poppy-seed roll that had to be had with Flora. Rut. I was assured that this was actually normal for the veggie option; indeed rather superior to the standard vegetable curry.

I suppose it could have been worse. The Italian servers were cool, all the jugs were filled with very cold water, they put your dirty plates away for you so there are no food-separation turtle-times at the end of the meal.

The Hall is intimate, elegant, lighter than most, decorated with old paintings of masters and alumni. But as you exit the Hall, your eyes clap upon the College’s most recent commissions: two portraits offensive in their primary colouring, thrusting and childish and ugly. They rubbed salt into the food-inflicted wounds, and made me regret I’d put in my contact lenses.