Robert Smith: Culture Vulture

A new decade, a new term and a new editor. Well all of that’s true apart from the last one. Yes, whereas all the other members of the Tab team have done more position swapping than a competitive gangbang I’ve stayed resolutely in place as Reviews Editor. ‘Stick to what you know’ is what my parents probably always taught me. That or ‘Always try new things’ I forget.

It’s not all remained the same though. Lottie Unwin is now my lovely Deputy Editor and is whipping the Theatre section into shape. Her aim is to publish reviews of every play that takes place in Cambridge each week, which will be no mean feat given the drama hard-on this place has. She’ll also be giving you a round-up of expected theatrical highlights of the coming week every Sunday.

For those who would rather tread on their cock than tread the boards you can come here for a preview of the other cultural high points approaching us. Everything will either be taking place in Cambridge or can be experienced through some form of medium (technological medium that is, not a spiritualist) so you have no excuse to not try at least one of these recommendations. I’ll try and find time to do them as well, in that brief window between failing to finish my dissertation and killing myself.

Art: Sargent, Sickert and Spencer opened over the holiday at the Fitz and I’m definitely going to head down next week. I’d be lying if I said I’d actually heard of Spencer, so hopefully he’s in on merit rather than purely alliterative reasons.

TV: The new series of Charlie Brooker’s Newswipe starts on Tuesday and it’s fair to say I’m a little excited. Expect plenty of caustic criticism sprinkled with scathing insights into the nature of modern media.

Food and Drink: The ever popular Winter Ale Festival is back so head down to the University Social Club between Thursday and Saturday. It’s free entry between 12 and 3pm on Friday, the selection of ales is usually fantastic and in the past they’ve had Hog Roast downstairs. This is good news if, like me, you measure your life by the number of times you’ve consumed a bun full of dead pig.

Union: Simon Singh will definitely be worth seeing on Monday, given his ongoing persecution at the hands of Britain’s brain dead libel laws. Stephen Fry and Dara O’Briain have thrown their weight behind him, so this is bound to be a popular event.

Film: Juno director Jason Reitman returns this week with Up in the Air, a film bound to be worth watching for Clooney delivering snappy dialogue if nothing else. Also for those who haven’t seen it yet, check out this fast becoming cult review of Star Wars Episode I– it’s the most surreal yet perceptive hour on YouTube.

Music: Other than the lovely Laura Veirs at the Junction there’s not a hell of a lot on, so instead I thought I’d give you a track recommendation. Stapleton Sex by Ghostface Killah is the most ‘What the fuck?’ rap song I’ve heard in a good while and that’s saying something. The man in question is always pioneering and you have to admit that this song takes misogynist sex rap to its logical (and disgusting) conclusions. Innuendo is out, imitating vaginal noises is in. The song is essentially porn and the video is literally porn.