Working at McDonald’s made me lose my faith in humanity

I was not lovin’ it

9 years ago

As my manager once eloquently summarised: “A job at McDonald’s seems great… until you realise it’s a job at McDonald’s”.

After a long night out on the lash, we all know there’s nothing more satisfying than McDonald’s. However, after working there for four months as a crew member I realised it’s, well, not exactly the most charming place to work.

This isn’t anything to do with the company. It’s all about the customers. The customers who are king. Their behaviour is the worst I have ever known, resulting in some awful experiences for employees. Here are but a few.

There’s a cost to this bounty

The woman who wanted everything in her McFlurry

The highlight of my time at McDonald’s was an event involving a disoriented woman who entered our fine eatery around the beginning of September. Upon presenting her with her caramel McFlurry, the lady in question continually asked me to put all manner of items in her ice cream, and refused to leave until her demands had been met.

After manager intervention she finally got her request, continued to sit down, appeared to smoke something very dark and collapse into the ice cream, at which point several customers had to carry her out of the store.

The gang prepared to shank people for cheeseburgers

Another memory was formed when our entire store was swarmed by young people toting knives threatening to stab the rest of the clientele. Clearly concerned, the customers in the store alerted the manager, leading to a large farce resulting in the manager locking all the doors and the drive thru windows; bummer. Needless to say the police were called and the matter resolved, but not until the perpetrators had demanded cheeseburgers as some sort of bargaining device for our safety.

The joke’s entirely on them however, as because they attend the local Metropolitan college doing BTECs in sport they could have claimed the cheeseburgers for free. The question of whether they should be allowed to claim a “student” discount continues to trouble me.

None of the customers were like this

No, we don’t do all day breakfast

The McDonald’s breakfast is another cause of extreme tension between staff and customers, with the realisation that customers have missed breakfast resulting in onslaughts of questionable retorts, namely, “It took me four hours to walk here, and I’ve circled the building twice”. I have been asked repeated times by customers when the all day breakfast is coming to a McDonald’s near them, only to have them be disappointed with my announcement that I have no such idea.

A painful irony pervades the McDonald’s breakfast experience: it seems that those that want the breakfast the most are those that arrive so painfully close to its conclusion, and the few that do arrive McDonald’s in time for the breakfast menu seem to have gotten there exactly how every student ever ends up at at Keele University, through a sense of confusion and misdirection.

‘Slow and painful death’ – conclusions

Following my time at McDonald’s I have a renewed respect for everyone that works there. Not only are the customers frequently insensitive, but it requires incredible strength to hold onto one’s universal love of humanity after a customer has informed you that they wish a “slow and painful death” on you because you’ve asked them to park up for their food.