What your dancing says about you

What message are your moves really sending?

After chugging some bargain booze and downing one too many shots of vodka we all like to take to the dance floor believing our moves make us look cool and attractive.

In reality we’re the ugly duckling who likes to think they’re in Swan Lake and we’re only one drink away from stumbling home and having a tactical chunder en-route.

So while our intoxicated minds are certain our dancing would score a solid 10/10, what message are we actually sending?

Shuffling

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What you think it says: These talented moves deserve more attention than the royal baby.

What it actually says: I watched a Youtube tutorial to learn how to do this.

Gun fingers

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What you think it says: Welcome to the gun show: I lift.

What it actually says: Everything in my wardrobe is made by Hype.

Fist pump

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What you think it says: If I time this perfectly with the drop I’ll probably get a high five from everyone in the club.

What it actually says: My favourite DJ is Basshunter.

Clapping

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What you think it says: I get the crowd going. Maybe I’ll start a Mexican wave later.

What it actually says: I hope the S Club Juniors have a reunion soon.

Jumping

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What you think it says: Enthusiastic jumping hides the fact I can’t dance, right?

What it actually says: In my head I’m at the year 8 disco listening to blink-182.

Drinking

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What you think it says: Phew, just need a quick time out but this is the best. night. ever.

What it actually says: I lied when I said I like house music but no one will notice if I keep drinking.

Circle dancing

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What you think it says: We are all really, really, really good friends. Just look at this unbreakable circle of friendship.

What it actually says: What’s the guy to the left called again?

Leaning on anything

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What you think it says: Yeah I could give or take a kebab right now.

What it really says: Take me to Jason Donervan now!

Pop and Lock

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What you think it says: When people look at me and my friends they’ll think yes, he’s the cool one.

What it really says: I voted for Diversity to win Britain’s Got Talent.

On your phone

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What you think it says: I’m popular.

What it actually says: Social expectations are forcing me to be here but maybe there’s enough signal to watch Netflix. I tweet everything I’m thinking and then I tweet about thinking about tweeting #follow4follow #clubgoinguponatuesday

Acting out the words

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What you think it says: My music taste is just so eclectic, I know the words to more songs than you.

What it actually says: I make lyric videos for YouTube.

Drake hand wave

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What you think it says: This will definitely win me some popularity points.

What it actually says: “I was running through the six with my woes, just kidding I was home writing notes. I was texting in Drake lyrics long before the Drizzy app was made.

Swaying

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What you think it says: I’m living university life to the maximum. Let’s hope I don’t leave my jaw on the floor of Lakota.

What it actually says: Is the room moving or is it just me? I yearn for the gurn. Gurn selfies coming soon.

Choreographed dancing

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What you think it says: I have such a party personality.

What it actually says: That Just Dance game has not improved my game.

Making it rain

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What you think it says: I’m in crippling debt so making it rain is hilariously ironic.

What it actually says: I didn’t choose the thug life, and the thug life didn’t choose me.

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