The Guardian hates Bristol: 2015 league table is not very kind

The Guardian’s 2015 uni league tables are out, and there’s only one conclusion to draw: the whole thing is clearly just a thinly disguised attempt to personally show Bristol Uni the finger.

Bristol have finished a disappointing 34th, beaten by such academic heavyweights as Surrey, Lancaster, Heriot-Watt, East Anglia, Loughborough, Birmingham, Aston, The School of Oriental and African Studies, Coventry, Newcastle, Reading, Queen Mary and… University Of The Arts, London.

Yep, some silly London school for colouring in.  What a joke.

To the makers of the Guardian league table

Last year, we were 23^rd – though still behind Kent, Loughborough and UEA.  But falling 11 places in just a year seems to prove The Guardian really has something against us.

The oh-so-accurate Guardian scoring system got us 66.1 out of 100 for ‘overall’ score (Cambridge got 100, big surprise), but this doesn’t really add up: they said Bristol students are apparently pretty satisfied with their course and with teaching, though unsatisfied with feedback on work, where we only scored 66.7/100.

This is the kind of shithole uni that beat us

Apparently the miserly uni bigwigs aren’t spending enough on us.  We scored just 5.3/10 on the ‘average spend per student’ category, while Cambridge scored 10/10.

Okay, so nobody said Bristol was perfect… but 34^th in the country is just insulting, especially when you consider that Birmingham is 17th, Aston is 22nd and Coventry is 27th.  To put that into perspective, you can study English at Coventry with BCC grades at A Level.

If it’s any consolation to us, we’re miles ahead of UWE at 49, and King’s College London at 40.