Here’s everything you need to know about being a fresher in Birmingham

Starting university is one of the most terrifying and exciting experiences there is. You have dragged yourself through the dullest A Level years, stressed over exams and have had that unnerving question in the back of your mind: what if I just don't get in?

Alas, the worst is over because YOU MADE IT. Congrats. Greetings. Mazel Tov. Welcome to the University of Birmingham, the King's Landing of The Midlands. We pride ourselves with being one of the top uni's in the country, and more importantly, the fact we can down at least 17 VK's at every Fab'n'Fresh.

Every fresher has their fair amount of worries about starting uni, but do not fear as we have made the most legitimate, accurate and trusted guide for you UoB freshers. Now go get a drink.

You'll develop a deep affection for Old Joe

Did you know UoB has the tallest free-standing clock tower IN THE WORLD? Old Joe is not only the centrepiece of the UoB campus, but he's also the apple of our eye. He'll guide you home at 4am, he'll be your shade on a summers day, and rumour has it, he can even make you fail your degree. If you don't pap him in your first week, do you even go to UoB?

here's the big man

Be aware you're now in The Midlands

No, naive lads and lasses, we're not in the north, and we are indeed not in the south. Don't believe the lies. You're bound to piss off a few locals if you don't acknowledge that Brum is in The Midlands.

Be aware that you will immediately be judged on which halls you live in

Mason has the wankers. Maple Bank has the gap year backpackers. TC for the cheapskates. Chamberlain for the kids whose Dad is a Lord or Baron. If you live anywhere else you probably won't be considered a UoB student. By the end of week one you'll be made fully aware of who likes you and who doesn't.

If you haven't got Uber, then congrats you've bagged your flat a free ride

Buses are a bit of a nightmare in Brum and way too pricey for your student budget. Uber will become your best friend. Guaranteed, you'll have more authentic conversations with an uber driver than you would with any flatmate.

Go to Fab 'N' Fresh

UoB are so blessed to have the best SU night, the mighty Fab 'N' Fresh. With time, you'll find that you and every other UoB student will do anything and everything to get their hands on a fab ticket. Sports night on Wednesdays is another must-try. The SU is the best place to ease your way into uni life. Once you go Fab you never go back.

Time to get creative

Explore all the great nightlife Brum has to offer

After Fab, you're just about ready for anything. Head into town to find Players, Rosies, Snobs, LAB11 or the iconic Rainbow Venues. There's something for the whole squad. Split an uber to make for a cheaper ride and blissfully end your night in Pitstop or Roosters for some well deserved chicken.

Don't bother trying to find a seat in the library

Wait, freshers shouldn't be in the library? But if you fancy spending an hour trying to find a seat in the new swish and shiny library, well just don't. There is a severe shortage of seats. Instead explore some more unknown haunts like The Avon Room, Mason Lounge or The Learning Centre.

Dare you to try and find a seat

Forget Maccies, the only place for you is Roosters

The stumble home from fab notoriously ends with a stop off at Roosters. Bristol Road has no shortage of late night takeaways, Dixy's, Dominos, chicken.com will all cater for your chicken crave. Served best at 10am the next day.

Gimme

You're gonna love it. Trust me.