The real dangers of Fab

It isn’t as happy as we’d all like to believe

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We all know it, we all love it, we all preach it. Yet like most things that we love, it can hurt us. Rocky Balboa once said: “The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place.” That much is true of Fab.

While it is only at the Guild, it does have the potential to be quite a lethal night out.

Let’s be frank, while Fab is our friend, it’s not necessarily the safest of friends. So let’s take a look at the real dangers of Fab.

Stairs of Death 

Every Fab – yes, every Fab, there’s always one person in the group who slips down one of the many threatening staircases that Fab imposes on us. They seem pretty innocent, don’t they?

I mean, they’re just stairs, and you deal with stairs every single every day – how hard can tackling Fab stairs be? You merely want to smooch your way down from the overwhelming cheese of Joe’s Bar down to the underground for some quick R’n’B when BAM – next thing you know, you’ve rolled your ankle and you’re on your arse in the middle of the staircase, covered in bruises, wondering how the very thing that you love has hurt you so badly.

So deceptively innocent looking

So deceptively innocent

Heat Death

It’s the name of a popular theory based off the second law of thermodynamics which explains how the universe is going to end, but Heat Death is more commonly known to us as what a busy Fab feels like by about 1:30 AM.

Standing beneath the DJ booth, severely dehydrated, surrounded by a swarm of other drunken fabbers while your clothes stick to you like some sort of shitty cocoon (which you’re definitely not going to emerge from looking beautiful) the heat can get a bit much.

If we’re honest, if we could, most of us would rip off our clothes right there. Anyone up for naked Fab?

Slip ‘n’ Slide 

Perhaps a little more unconventional, because it does require you to be that level of drunk where you are struggling quite badly with bodily coordination, but the metal flooring of the loading bay outside the Guild/Fab barriers can cause a serious threat.

All it takes is for a light bit of rain, and all of a sudden the ground becomes your very own lethal slip ‘n’ slide directly outside Fab as you drunkenly exit the night.

Slip 'n' slide your way to concussion for free outside Fab

Slip ‘n’ slide your way to concussion for free outside Fab