Everything that will happen when your friend from home comes to visit you at Aberdeen Uni
They won’t be back for a while
After tagging each other in dozens of passive-aggressive memes about never visiting, the day finally comes when they shell out for a ScotRail train ticket. They're coming to Aberdeen. Here is everything that will go down while they're in town.
You will see everyone you hate at the Bobbin
"It's literally the greatest pub ever," you'll exclaim to your friend. Upon entering the Bobbin, an ex-flame will be there, as will the girl you spoke to once in freshers, and that one who completely ruined your tutorial group presentation. Chaos will ensue.
You and your flatmate will have a domestic in front of them
"We get along so well, we are basically an old married couple," you boast to your friend. Before they've even dropped their bags, your flatmate will start shouting about dishes in the sink and complain your room is never tidy.
Your mate will almost die crossing King Street
In Aberdeen's defence, they do have a crossing, but crossing at the lights is the wimpy way out. En route to Bobbin, your friend will almost get hit by a lorry.
"It's not always like this," you will say in apology, even though it definitely is always like that.
You will take them to the worst pres in Scotland
Six people in the room, five people in pyjamas: you are the only people going out. No one will have a speaker and playlist arguments will occur.
The flat will be either freezing or boiling, and the bathroom and kitchen will be filthy. It will be so grim that it isn't even funny. You and your friend will maybe be able to share a laugh about it a year later.
The club you decide to go will be dead
Every time you go home, you have sung the praises of your favourite Aberdeen club, but whether its's Tunnels, Inny, NOX, Exo, UG, Unit 51, Club Tropicana, it will be dead the night to decide to go to.
Drinks will be expensive, the music will be shite, and for some reason entry will be more pricey than you remember. You will have to spend the night apologising and telling folk tales of great nights you once had there.
No taxis available and public transport will not be your friend
No taxi company will have anything available until 2029, First Buses will be on strike, and it will be raining. When you do finally get a bus, they'll make a pass-agg comment about how expensive it is.
Your saving grace will be the photogenic tour of campus
Ever the show-off, you will take them on the same tour you took your parents on: the library, King's College, and Spital.
"I had no idea Aberdeen Uni was so pretty!" they will say. Finally your hosting skills will have paid off. They will take a 'gram of the ivy on King's and you will feel great pride.
They will unfortunately KO
A foreign city? What better excuse for your mate to get completely smashed? You will spend your night dragging them around and seeing everyone you know. "I love Aberdeen, you are the best!" They will say in a drunken state in either Marco's or McDonald's.
A cute cafe visit will redeem both your friend and the city of Aberdeen
One thing that Aberdeen definitely provides is photogenic cafes. Pick from Bonobo to Food Story, or if they love dogs, The Long Dog Cafe does the best milkshakes. If they love cats, please re-evaluate the friendship.
Congrats for showing off Aberdeen to your home friend to the best of your abilities. You will feel sad leaving them at the train station (shoutout to Union Square for having a nice train station) after a memorable visit.
365 days to go until the next.