Meet your eternal BNOCs: Prof Shane Murphy

Part One

Since your lovely uni has plenty of great teacher stock, it’s time for students to get to know these lecturers and tutors a little better.

First up, one brave student interviewed the very well-known English lecturer Dr. Shane Murphy, and the result was glorious.

A student at Cork University, then a university in Paris, and THEN Cambridge university, a stupid sounding but vital question must be asked: Was he a good student?

“Of course I was a good student!

“I was a geek before geek chic was fashionable.”

Even so, teaching English was not, after all, the childhood dream:

“I was meant to be a lecturer in French.”

“I don’t regret the change, but as a student I did a year in Paris on Erasmus… so that might form a part of regret…Paris: Drink, wear black and go wild – the decadent lifestyle…”

Dreaming of the sweet sweet life in Paris

When asked about the uni’s string of cock-ups recently, the professor throws the hot potato far, far away:

“I’m certainly not commenting on that…”

Though he does mention that grade inflation comes with the new system, and that there is pressure to keep those failing grades away.

Well then. Moving on to safer ground: My favourite book is Wuthering Heights.”

When asked where in the world he would most like to teach given the choice, the answer is obvious. Where else?

“…. Aberdeen… Of course…”

His office – making your student halls look tidy since 1998

According to such a source of wisdom and experience, after graduating a student should do one thing, and one thing only – follow their dream:

“And watch the Muppet show, you’ll learn a lot about life from the Muppet show I can tell you that.”

He also has some advice on how to get to know your lecturers.

“Look at their office doors…”

What does this say about you, Dr Murphy?

If he won the lottery,  there are plenty of things he would do:

“Firstly, I would buy the university and run it exactly how I want to run it taking revenge on all the people… Then I would buy a house with a soundproof room so nobody could hear me laugh about it all.”

Maybe the most important opinion of the modern, middle class mortal is how they like their steak: “There’s only one way – Medium rare.”

At this point, Dr. Murphy looked super guilty about having cow. What’s going on?

“I was a Vegetarian for ten years, then for the next ten years I was not, during which time no animal was safe.

“Even Rudolph – reindeer in Sweden is delicious…”

But for someone who has been at Aberdeen for 16 years you can imagine he’d have learnt some wisdom that he’ll happily depart: “I have mislaid my little book of crap and so I am all out of inspirational quotes. If you want to get into the Christmas spirit and get all teary-eyed though, watch the John Lewis ad.”

Final word?

“My lawyer advises me to say nothing more.”