Freshers say the dumbest things

The new university year begins and with it comes another flock of fledglings.

And in the Freshers’ Facebook groups there is substantial evidence that getting into university is easier than ever.

Fuark indeed.

By the end of term you’ll be ripping off your tight white nipple revealing t-shirts because you simply won’t be able to take them off normally anymore due to the slightly disturbing  neck muscles this stash will promote.

The dangers of muscle building – expensive clothing replacement.

SOME MIGHT SAY….

Well it’s just ridiculous that you can’t get a serious answer from people when you publicly ask random strangers to house you in a city you don’t know…

And then there’s the innuendos your innocent nature will prevent you from understanding.

WHY ARE YOU EVEN GOING TO UNI WHEN YOU ALREADY HAVE THE ANSWER TO HAPPINESS LITERALLY AT YOUR FEET???

Aberdeen – the oil capital.

But not one like.

Despite the ignorance of your fellow freshers, you will not be alone you soon-to-be-fracking scamp, you’re just the only person who’s willing to admit (by default) that you’re here for that sweet, oh so oily, Dollah.

#SendHelp

Basically the same as picking Orange because you like oranges.

Or picking three because it is of course, the magic number.

This connection is just a tad more unhealthy…

Nah man, got to get yourself a hob.

Safety first.

We left the best for last…

The Big Man.

He’s got the style, the looks and, of course, the booze.

But his legitimacy is brought into question firstly by his choice of music..

A picture there for the lads and one for the ladies: Gangsta and a Pouter.

A night with any man whose middle name is ‘Party’ will probably result in this:

An aggressive game of ring of fire, mixed with a healthy dose of male bravado to further encourage the PARTY atmosphere, leading to scenes of this crazy King of mischief  throwing up in his flatmates hoover then passing out topless in a corridor still mumbling party to himself as someone swiftly draws a penis on his forehead.