What your night out says about you

 You know you’re in Snafu when…

…The bartender’s hardest task is to fix a vodka coke for the only person not drinking water in the room.

…Everyone feels like butter; seriously, just touch that stranger’s face again.

…There seems to be a constant queue for a turn to sit in the speakers…

…You have no personal space issues. Then again, what else can you do when you’re jammed into a sweat box with 300 other humans – and everything is soft, so soft…

 

You know you’re in Institute (Liquid for us veterans) when…

…You have to give yourself a mental pep talk before facing the dreaded bouncers:  “That’s it. Stand up straight, smile… not too much. Ok, now stop swaying, just one foot in front of the other…”

…Everyone is wearing a similar VK perfume: “Have you gone for Tropical tonight? Mine’s a mixture of Cherry and Apple this evening”

…When girls are whipping out straws left right and centre from their private supplies… It pays to be prepared.

…you’ve only spent an hour in total inside the actual club: Let’s be honest, you’ve been in McDonalds for the past three.

 

You know you’re in Garage when…

…You were enticed by a free hoody.

…You’re surrounded by first years who know no better.

…You’re a first year who knows no better.

 

You know you’re in NOX when…

…You’ve just received a large paycheque from your part time job.

…You’re keeping your future prospects in mind and are hoping to bag a rich oil man.

… You can legitimately use the line “don’t you know who I am?!”

 

You know you’re in Coco @Babylon when…

… It doesn’t matter if you can afford to put your Versace fur coat in the cloak room or not, if you’re not there within 10 minutes of the club opening, you’re stuck lugging it around for the rest of the night.

…Every girl looks like a new born giraffe… the guys would too if they were stupid enough to combine 10inch designer heels and a heinous amount of Belvedere vodka.

…Everyone around you is just as big a deal as you are. After all, you all have exclusive Coco cards reminding you of this fact.

 

You know you’re in Priory when…

…It’s free entry. And you just desperately need the loo; plus you aren’t at the stage of the night where peeing in an alleyway is acceptable behaviour.

…You are too damn drunk to get into any other establishment.

…You have gone in to get a purple rain. Either that or you’re so drunk that you’re seeing purple rain.

 

You know you’re in Exodus when…

…you’re just rolling… rolling… rolling on the river. Or the floor.

…You can dance like a pure idiot in a public place with absolutely no judgement.

…Everyone has the same awesome taste in music.

 

You know you’re in Tiger Tiger when…

…When you come to and realise you’re drinking out of a coconut…

…There’s a constant stream of women falling, head-first, down the stairs onto the dance floor.

…When everyone around you is wearing Hollister, or a OnePiece.

 

You know you’re in The Underground klub (but really Korova) when…

…There is a magnetic energy circulating the room. Mainly because everyone’s facial piercings are creating a man-made current of electricity.

…You don’t need beer goggles to pull someone… It’s so dark in there you can’t see anyone’s features anyway.

…Everyone is searching for the sweets from long lost Candy Box, WHERE ARE THEY GOD DAMNIT!?

 

You know you’re in Gavrillo @Forum when…

…You think you’re back at a school disco, but now you’re being legally sold alcohol.   

…You see people eating pizza, but you can never ever find the source…

…You’re the type of human who has raw eggs for breakfast, protein shakes for lunch and performance enhancing drugs for dinner.

 

You know you’re in Pearl Lounge when…

…You are part of the Pearl staff and want a free night out.

…Everything seems to be designed to remove the belongings from their customers; I’m not even going to get started on the bouncy castle.

…You spend 5 pounds on two 70p “Jaeger bombs”… Make of that what you will.