Worst people to ever live in Brighton

This small sea-side town in East Sussex has been home to the greats like Churchill, Steve Coogan, and Simon Cowell, but who are the worst we’ve housed?

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Unfortunately, with social diversity also comes the diverse range of dingleberries that fill the pages of Heat, Closer, and OK! Brighton has been home to many great human-beings, but it has also been home to some unprecedently useless mortals.

Peter Andre & Jordan

One has nothing to show for his life other than a collection of TV panel show appearances and one song he didn’t even write. The other has achieved nothing except causing a few awkward teenage boners and the occasional tear of regret (I’m looking at you Gareth Gates).

Julian Clary

His career has been on the decline since it started. He entered comedy in the 1980’s, and has failed to make a joke yet. Simply being gay isn’t funny Julian, join the queue of other un-funny comedians who make money off their sexuality; Alan Carr, Paul O’Grady, and Graham Norton. (He also went to the same school as me, and apparently I sat in the same chair as him once and everyone said I caught gaybies).

Will Young

He’s Will Young.

Ken Livingstone

Regardless of political alliance this man is a tosspot. Except for his numerous scandals and controversies (including anti-Semitism and cronyism) he also well and truly has the face of a slapped arse. Also, who’s called Ken?

Conor Maynard

The so-called British Justin Bieber. It’s probably a bit harsh to call him one of the worst people to live in Brighton since he’s barely hit puberty. But I think he’s from Hove, which explains a lot.


Where to start: dictator, freakishly short, and worst of all, French.

(Note: Frankie Cocozza also lived here)