Confessions of an Essex girl in St Andrews

The white stiletto essex girl stereotype was slowly dying across Britain before Essex was projected to fame again after the first English remake of the American style reality TV show, The Hills, in the form of, The only way is Essex (commonly known as TOWIE). Across the country, girls who have left Essex for the big wide world are constantly trying to cover up their humble beginnings whilst even more ignorant people ask them if they know Joey or to say, “shaaat uppp!”

There’s a lot of really nice places in Essex but unfortunately I am from Southend, or if you wanted to know what it sounds like in my mother tongue “Saffend-on-sea”. It is a popular seaside holiday destination chosen by characters from Eastenders, home to the world’s longest pleasure pier. It’s the epitome of Essex.

In my 18 years of school, I’ve never really identified myself as “an Essex girl”, but like most other people who go to university, where you’re from becomes who you are for the first few weeks. And of course, that was the case in St Andrews.

We all know those three main questions that are the go to things to say during freshers week- “What’s your name?”, “What are you studying?” and the dreaded “Where do you come from?” As soon as I said Southend, Essex, people do a double take. Some just smirk and say “Ohhh” in a disapproving way. As this happens time and time again, more Essex girls feel ashamed of their bleached roots. Soon, people will exchange the “I’m from Essex” to “I’m from down south” or just simply “Near London.”

Some people think being from Essex is a shameful thing that nobody should be proud of. I beg to differ. Yes, Essex is well known as a place for orange barbies who think the word “confrontate” exists, but out of Essex there were many a great person born and raised (and not just the cast of TOWIE). Dame Maggie Smith, Jamie Cullum, Rupert Grint, Jamie Oliver, just to name a few. Rachel Riley (known from countdown) went to my secondary school, and before being chosen out of over a thousand applicants, she obtained a degree in Maths from Oxford. Another girl from my school also won the most recent series of the Great British Bake off.

I stand before you, St Andrews, to announce that I’m proud of being from Essex. I love a night out where you will feel underdressed or positively out of place if you are not wearing: fake tan, fake eyelashes with hair that has most properly sat in rollers for the whole day. We take a “go hard or go home” attitude to shoes and we pull on the highest pair of heels we can two step in. I talk fast, with an accent that has sometimes been mistaken for australian (?), my “th” become “f” and favouring a glottal stop to a “tt” in the middle of a word.

You can take the girl out of Essex, but you cannot take Essex out of the girl.

P.S. You can’t call me a bimbo because I go to the same university as the rest of y’all.

Stay reem, St Andrews.

Image courtesy of: http://louderthanwar.com/the-only-way-is-austen-in-defence-of-towie-and-co/