Review: Clan Warfare

RAG Week kicked off last night with Clan Warfare. Last year’s veterans returned to the Union, donning their hall colours and shouting their chants with pride, ready to challenge University Hall for the position as the 2012 champion. Here are the top commands for clan warfare survival.

Order 1: Grab your armour, slap on your war paint and rally the troops. Last night, all clans arrived dressed in their hall-themed best. Yet remember, do not repeat the blunder of the battle of Raisin Foam Fight and smother your face with numerous layers of bright coloured paint. It will not wash off.

Order 2: Find yourself a rival hall. Although the chanting may appear to be light-hearted banter between enemy halls, in reality those war cries reveal deep-rooted bitterness from age-old disputes over who stole whose taxidermy. Yes John Burnet, Uni Hall are looking at you.

Order 3: Dance and chant your way to victory. If screaming those chants until you lose your voice fails to send the other halls running, a dance-off in the union is sure to finally resolve all conflicts. Those frenzied/drunken moves reveal which hall is truly the most fearsome of them all.

And in the end, we came, we saw, we conquered, as University Hall reigned victorious once more. To quote our wise clan leader Mel Gibson, ‘They may take our lives, but they’ll never take our… taxidermy wall mounts again.’