The St Andrews Social Calendar

It seems a queer thing, the university social calendar. Whilst normal people with normal lives and jobs tend to save their drunken shenanigans for Friday night, maybe Saturday, and Thursday at a push if they’re not in some kind of morally responsible profession like teaching or CEO of Unilever. But university students are not bound by such spatial-temporal fetters, so what happens in St Andrews every night of the week? 

Monday Night

As one third-year recently said to me: ‘If they’re out drinking on a Monday I don’t trust them.’ Generally people are working, or sleeping, and usually the latter. Let’s be honest – you’ve got class haven’t you? What’s the point in going out on a Monday – ever?

Tuesday Night

Like drinking from the devil’s cup, Tuesday night can be like selling your soul – and you may get a bargain. Alternately you could get critically early-week drinkers; often from one of the local franchises, who proceed to get far too messy for a Tuesday and leave your quiet pint feeling like you’d have had more peace and better conversation in the Empire lavvy.

Also a (new) feature of Tuesdays is SKINT at the Union (for £1), which seems to have ranked in the student estimation as the equivalent of somewhere between a veiled insult and the offer of a free colonoscopy. Probably best to avoid the Union on this day, unless you manage to arrive there before 11:30pm. Of course, arriving that early, on most occasions, says more about how the night’s going than anything.

Wednesday Night

Sinners’ Sport every fortnight: all the University sports teams dress up in their kit, harass the local establishments and have a good time. Usually involves shots, loud noises and being kicked out of somewhere at one in the morning. Needless to say, fifty percent of the town tends to stay in that night. A mixed bag.

Thursday Night

A must for Freshers, second-years and anyone else failing to feel the pressure. The weekend is nearly here, but it’s like a supermarket on Pension Day: it’s less crowded because the majority of people have more important things to do. The night is practically guaranteed to end by 1am, but by then you’ll have had a few drinks down you and basked in the remembrance that you can actually afford to go out on Thursday night…

Friday Night

Basically the night to go out in St. Andrews. Featuring the St Andrews stalwart, The Bop (does what it says on the tin). You’ll drink far too much, dance far too grotesquely – and may get lucky. Or you’ll end up in one of the many lauded eating establishments, gargling words to your best friend through vodka-tinged saliva. Either way it’s not to be missed.

Saturday Night

A red herring. A misnomer. A false friend. Or, at least, it was until this year. But now with the introduction of Sin City you can pop down the Union for a swift one and some gratuitously erotic dancing, and some choons. After all, a couple of drinks are definitely better than working on that essay.

But as an Honours student, it’s hard to escape the feeling that Saturdays just aren’t the night to be out. And you’re tired. Best not hit it too heavy. This isn’t Glasgow, or Manchester, or London. This is St Andrews, for God’s sake. But then if there’s a bus leaving for Dundee, well, that’s an entirely different matter…

Sunday Night

An interesting character. Why not go out on a Sunday? It is, after all, the last vestige of the weekend. And there’s a good chance only you and your mates will be out. Also a classic night for balls, which puts off Monday morning lectures just that little bit longer. Who needs a bath and an early night? Go wild.

The St Andrean social calendar is stranger than most- but most seem to love it. Not a big city, not a quiet place in the country, there’s no place like it. Just maybe avoid Monday nights. But then, there’s always somebody who can convince you to head out, just for a cheeky beverage, whatever night of the week…

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