Made in Chelsea Series 4, Episode 5

I think that the Made In Chelsea writers know it’s Week 9. They know I’m tired, cold, stressed out over essay deadlines, and haven’t spoken to my mother in 3 weeks. So they sent me Binky’s Mum. In dark moments, Binky’s Mum is a beacon of love, support, wisdom and a champagne lunch.

WARNING: The episode starts with a literally (literally!) steamy shower scene. There is no explanation. Perhaps MIC is taking inspiration from the wanton sex scenes of such cinematic classics as ‘The Room’? Spanking features prominently.

Actually, this week’s MIC was a host of esoteric statements and moments juxtaposed for our viewing pleasure. I thought I’d missed the hidden message when Ollie stated “As a general rule, I think it’s important to speak to fish”, but he stated it with such sincerity that I’m now almost a convert to the idea. Jamie’s face was obviously beaten up, but no explanation was provided other than “I had a fight with a boy (pronounced: bhoi)”, indicating he has some bad-boy life outside of what is filmed (INTRIGUE). A personal favourite was the girly dating advice that was dished out, which indicated that a man’s shoe choice was a defining aspect of his personality. Thus, if you do not like the shoes, you can never, ever, like the man. These individual incidences combined made for weird (if fantastic) watching – mid-season insanity?

Remember the days when Ollie/Cheska/Binky were a distinct entity? Not anymore. Ollie officially attends ‘Boys’ Night Out’ with Spencer, Jamie and ‘The Lads’, and is, surprisingly, still less awkward than Francis. The ginger rogue spends far too many of the ‘Lads-Do-Shots’ montages observing instead of participating, it’s like he’s a parent on duty.

Perhaps such a guardian is a requirement though. In comparison to ‘Girls’ Night Out’ (an aesthetically pleasing but desperately muted and uneventful affair), the male equivalent was a car crash of identical outfit choices, embarrassing predation of random women and ultimately, social breakdown. Despite having clear similarities to the average Saturday night experience at The Lizard, the facial proximity of the characters, the ‘danger’ music and the sobriety of my observation made viewing these events far too intense.

Alas, this week saw the departure of Louise to her university town (she actually has an occupation other than ‘the Chelsea life’) of Edinburgh, and the promises of visits from the rest of the cast. Anyone keen for a MIC fieldtrip…?

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