Get the look: Rah Hair

Beauty Call – Slap it On. You Slapper, You.

Have you washed your hair in the past week? Do you find hairbrushes an unnecessary barrier to your self expression? Are you lucky enough to have the ‘wind swept and interesting’ look without the trip to West Sands? Does your haircut naturally enable the easy creation of a bird’s nest? Then you do not need my guidance. For the straight, brushed and glossy haired amongst you, read on. 

Get the look: Rah Hair

1) Begin with unwashed dry hair – optimum lack of washing between 4-5 days. Preferably sweaty, matted or on the verge of dread locks. Should you be unfortunate enough to have had to wash (damn body odour), this step can be skipped. 

2) Then spray a ridiculous amount of Dry Shampoo. We would recommend Charles Worthington Balance Act Dry Shampoo, £5.19 from Boots. Batiste is for commoners. 

3) If you caved into wider social norms and purchased a hair brush, this can be used to your advantage. Begin with back-combing the roots of your hair. This involves holding the hair straight up in the air with one hand, and running the brush from the tips to the roots until a clump is made. Continue around the crown of the head, until several clumps of “volume” have been created. 

4) Tip your head forward and massage your roots in circular motions with your fingers. This shall add more volume. It is also vaguely sensual.

5) Now create a far side parting, preferably with the majority of the hair body swept to one side. This is ever in keeping with the A/W trend of side partings. Let’s hope the Bubble can cope with a Fashionista like you. 

6) Next hairspray the whole head, particularly focusing on the created clumps. We recommend John Frieda Luxurious Volume Extra Hold Hairspray, £5.79 at Boots. Although the volume you are adding with hairspray is nothing compared with your handiwork. You are creating a masterpiece. Although Elnette is also acceptable, Cheryl Cole’s shine is not the aim here. Heaven forbid you copy a Northerner. 

7) Should you wish to accessorise, the options of Ray Bans on top add a certain ‘je ne sais quoi‘. And will make your look totally and utterly unique, obv.

Congratulations, you now have the perfect Rah-do! Do I? Yes you do. Just in time for you to make your Art History lecture.

Cheat the Look:

Complete the St Andrews ‘Holy Trinity’ in one evening: have sex on the 18th Hole of the Old Course; in St Salvador’s Quadrangle; and finally in the Castle. Not only is this good exercise, no one else will have strategically placed twigs. You’re so outdoorsy. 

As an ‘Adored and Respected Member’ of ‘The Student Room’ claimed on the topic of ‘Rah’ hair: “If you get a really messy haircut you will look fucking stupid, like a pigeon has taken up residence on your head or something.” 

What more could you ask for, dahling? 

Photo © Jack Wills