There are only four types of girls at Southampton and you’re definitely one of them

If you don’t agree, you’re probs the “Bristol reject” sorry x


The more I look around Southampton, the more I've started to notice the same sorts of styles, behaviours and drunken habits popping up amongst my fellow female students. It has come to my attention that these repeated characteristics can be split into four, and only four variations of girls that you'll find walking around Soton Uni.

From those fresh out of their gap year, to the ones who went through clearing and so live their first choice unis through Southampton. From basic bitch to hela edgy, here they all are.

The "Jeans and a nice top" girl

This is the most common type of girl at Southampton. She spends her days in the library wearing skinny jeans, a jumper and Converse, and her Monday and Saturday nights fucked in Jesters. If she's drunk enough, she will definitely whip her top off when "Baywatch" comes on.

If asked: "What you wearing tonight?", her response will always be: "um jeans and a nice top probs xxx"

Her fave songs are "She's So Lovely" by Scouting For Girls or "Wonderwall" by Oasis (when she's feeling emotional) – both of which she'll happily sing after a pint at Stags karaoke. Be warned boys – she hates drugs and finds the smell of cigarettes "a bit of a turn off".

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"lool love you guyz"

The wannabe Bristol student

She didn't get into any of the "edgy unis" like Bristol, Leeds or Manchester but she clearly loves that "vibe". She lives in Topshop flares, wears headbands and goes to DJ Guv at Switch just so she can put it on her Insta story and show all her Bristol-wannabe friends how "great uni life is x".

You can often find her on the first floor of Hartley, looking through pics of herself off her face or scrolling through Depop. For this reason, she's barely scraping a 2:2. She wears a fake nose piercing and has her nipple pierced coz "YOLO". She also defo lives in the Surrey or Berkshire area.

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"mate, I was so fucked"

The genuinely edgy one

This type of girl is the rarest and the one we all aspire to be like. She's cool but isn't actually trying to be and her clothes are fucking great. She's often spotted in Doc Martins and a faux fur coat (because she rates animals). She's also likely to have a fringe.

She's probably from London, went to a posh London school and is pushing for a first because that's all her parents would expect from her. In ten years you'll find her running an edgy clothing company that's taken over the internet.

She loves techno, smokes rollies and does A LOT of coke.

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"yah yah yah"

The gym bunny

The gym bunny is the girl who rocks up to every lecture in activewear and spends an excessive amount of time in Jubilee. She defo has a giant Chilly's bottle or some other reusable water bottle, and can often be found in Hartley, hiding behind her stupidly-massive Beats.

When she's not at the gym, she's likely to be at an Oceana Wednesday with all her other sporty, healthy friends, downing some Jägerbombs, avoiding the smoking area at all cost or tongues-deep with a rugby lad.

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"woohoo, 5k in 20!"