What your Soton night out says about you

Jesters Monday

You’re lacking in character and feel that the pure filth of Jesters will sort you right out. Your weekend plans failed miserably so in an attempt to salvage them you decide to enter into a foul-smelling black hole of sugary drinks. You’re not afraid to step out of your comfort zone to have a good time.

Sobar Tuesday

Sobar has come to feel like your second home. You often look for an excuse to get drunk and 4 shots of vodka in one drink is your idea of heaven. Your 9am start means nothing to you. It is the only night-out you can afford at the moment. You have cried twice this week and it’s only Tuesday.

Oceana Wednesday

You don’t really want to be here but you are committed to a society or sports team.  You preferred the pre’s and are thoroughly looking forward to your McDonald’s on the way home. You may well be a raging white girl that took 20 selfies before finding the right one to post on your snapchat story during pre’s.  (Guilty).

Cafe Parfait Thursday

As a die-hard RnB fan, you don’t mind the minuscule room upstairs and the feeling of being crushed by 100 other bodies… in the words of R. Kelly, your mind often tells you no but your body just keeps telling you yes. You appreciate the suave decor including chandeliers and refurbed smoking area – reaching the conclusion that it reflects your inner boujee.

Switch Friday 

You are most likely a first year student, or you have ended up here unintentionally. Like every night out, your main aim is to secure a 10/10 or if not then anyone else will do. This probably isn’t your first Juiced Friday and won’t be your last, unfortunately. You haven’t fully mentally matured and the ball pit and bouncy castle is the biggest selling point of the night.

Switch event night

Your outfit includes at least one of these more obscure items: a bum bag, glitter, sunglasses, (warm) bottled water, Boomtown wristband. You put little effort into your overall look to signal that you are not here to make good impressions, you’re here to lose your soul. You’re probably here for a good time and a long time as you emerge into daylight at 5am.

Junk event night

You struggled choosing which of your shit shirts to wear tonight. Your favourite word is ‘sesh’. You love telling people your favourite genre is techno and judge others based on their taste in music. You are dripping in sweat.

Pub night

This is your ‘break’ in between two heavier seshes.

House party

Your liver’s function has already deteriorated. You probably don’t know who’s house party this is. You are willing to steal all their party decor (possibly even furniture). Your sanity is up for debate.

Whoever you are and whatever your favourite night out is, Southampton has got you covered.