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Everything you say at the start of a new semester

This semester will be my semester, I swear

I'll spend more time in the library

And no going home in the hour gap between lectures.

I'm going to stop spending money on food at uni

Seriously, it's over £3 for a sandwhich in the shop…

I'll go to the gym before my lectures start

First I need to get the membership.

I'll stick to my weekly budget

I thought the same, until I blew my entire budget for the week on an elrow ticket.

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All my weekly budget can afford

I'm only going out once a week

And not in the middle of the week…unless its Sobar Tuesday…or Parfait Thursday.

I'll do the reading before the lecture

Hopefully they don't set any this term.

I am going to turn up to all my lectures

Until I go to Jesters and miss my Tuesday 9am.

I'll stay on top of my laundry

I can't keep wearing socks two days in a row.