The 15 most terrifying things about being a Student at Southampton
It’s not all £1 shots & ice-cream shops
Halloween is fast approaching. The days are getting shorter, the leaves are dropping faster than freshers with the flu, and you can practically taste the PSL in the air.
The blood-curdling scream of your alarm clock telling you to get up for that 9am
Especially on a Monday… Or a Friday… Or pretty much any day. At any time. You’re never going to get over that noise.
Lovers Walk at night
This is actually scary. Before Freshers’ Week is over you already know all the stories. It’s creepy and long and when you’re alone you’d rather pay another £10 taxi than have to walk it.
The price of washing with Circuit Laundry
This is the bane of living in halls. They may as well introduce another loan purely for washing, because £2.60 per spin is a joke.
You have to speak. In front of everyone. Enough said.
The toilets in Jesters
If it isn’t bad enough that 5 people have probably already vomited in the toilet you’re about to use, they also have joint cubicles. Cause who doesn’t love watching their friends shit and throw up while they’re peeing?
Students emerging from Hartley after pulling an all-nighter
If you’re unlucky enough to have a 9am (particularly near exam season) you may spot them. It’s not pretty. Colour drained from vacant faces, eyes squinting and red. Hands shaking from litres of caffeine that kept them awake over the past 12 hours…all exemplified with the terrifying knowledge that this will probably be you at one point over the next year.
The price of the gym membership
It’s gone up again this year and to be honest, I’m sure walking up the hill to campus is just as effective…maybe.
A queue at Oceana when it’s raining
You’ve done your hair. You’re wearing your nice top. Its pouring down, and there is a queue that stretches around to the Leisure World entrance…
The rats on the common
They’re surprisingly fearless. Rumour has it they multiply when they get wet.
The price of anything at the Uni shop
Certain things are alright, but if you want anything even vaguely branded, you’d be better off walking all the way to Aldi.
The state of that mug you *definitely* may have forgotten about and left in your room for 4 months
You can’t even remember what was in there originally, but you’re sure it wasn’t fluffy when you left it.
Jesters when you’re sober
Everything’s looks that bit more grim when you can actually see straight.
A lecture in the building 54 when the lift is broken
It reminds me of the Witch's castle from The Wizard of Oz, and when you have to walk all the way up to the eighth floor, being abducted by a flying monkey doesn't sound too bad after all.
The colour of the drinks at The Hobbit
They’re delicious, but they have an unsettling glow to them. Is it the VS? Gandalf’s powers? Who knows?
The number of middle aged clubbers in Oceana on a Saturday
Go on any other day and its a ball, but go on a Saturday and the crowd gives you flashbacks of your aunt's 50th.