Back off, Ball Bashers

OH EM GEE! Untwist your knickers and step away from your keyboards, 2012 graduates-in-waiting.

After a quick scan through the comments on our piece and the official SUSU press release describing the venue for the summer graduation ball, it would be understandable to assume that something catastrophic has occurred.  I love a bit of below the line action and know full well that the majority of comments are usually posted by shit-stirring trolls, but I have a feeling that in this case deliciously hyperbolic posts like:

I really hope this is a sick joke??

And

Absolutely shockingly terrible idea….that’s all I have to say.

are actually deadly serious. What’s going on? Are breakfast hash browns being cancelled? Are mantatory 7AM lectures being introduced? Is the world really tearing itself apart? Nope – it’s the choice of Oceana as grad ball venue that has provoked this furore of internet outrage.

Now, like any sane person I detest Oceana – due to my powers of persuasion (i.e. shouting at people during pre-drinks before taxis are ordered) I’ve managed to get away with visiting it a mere three or four times since first year. Yes, it’s true that if you go on an average Wednesday or weekend night you’ll pay £20 for a double, immediately lose your friends and get thrown down the stairs by overzealous bouncers for taking your drink into the wrong area.

At the moment though – and remember we haven’t heard which acts are playing, what extra stuff is planned or even been given a confirmed ticket price – I can see this working. My graduate mates have always been quick to slam their own leaving dos; I wasn’t at last years one but Oceana sounds far better than an enormous boat shed. Ling’s points about set-up costs (bringing in bars and bogs and so on) are valid: budget and logistics wise it makes sense to choose a venue that already has that infrastructure in place. It’ll be an expensive ticket but value for money should still be a priority.

The grad ball is always going to be one of the trickier events to plan because it falls into that prom night/wedding day important life milestone category – and even if SUSU had Dom Pérignon on tap and Jay Z on the mic there would still be an angry mob demanding Jesticles and Britney Spears. When so many people have different mental images of their ideal totes amezzing night I don’t think this is a bad starting point.

Say what you like about the Sabb team this year but their relaunching of The Cube (a space even more soulless than Oceana) was a spectacular success, and it seems like they’re using this as a template for the ball. You’ll still be able to dress up and pretend to be sophisticated, and as the whole club will be booked out there won’t be any meatheads in knock-off Ben Sherman shirts trying to grope or fight you.

Mclo hasn’t somehow kidnapped The Tab editors and got us in the SUSU basement spinning out propaganda, I’m just saying we shouldn’t go overboard yet. If the acts are rubbish or it’s a flop you’ll read it here first, but one thing is certain – it will definitely be shit if nobody goes, however well organised it is.