What not to do on Valentine's day

This years most shocking, embarrassing and downright unfortunate valentines day stories.

Yesterday saw Valentines Day come round once again, with many of you spending romantic evenings with your loved ones, and some not so much. Here at Jack and Jim we’ve heard many stories from yesterday and we’ve decided to share the worst and most embarrassing ones with you.

Scoring an own goal

A good friend of ours decided to treat his girlfriend to a nice homemade meal and a bottle of wine on Valentines day evening, lovely. However being a Chelsea fan he soon realised that this would clash with yesterday evenings Chelsea V Fulham game on Monday night football. What to do?

He then spent several hours soul searching and came to the conclusion that Frank Lampard just couldn’t be stood up.

He explained this to his girlfriend and asked if he could move dinner forward so he could catch kickoff. As you can imagine this didn’t go down too well and he spent the evening getting drunk and excersing his right arm…. and Chelsea drew, Nightmare.

Girls love Poetry

A story reached our ears of a guy being infatuated with a girl for a long time but was too scared to say anything. He decided enough was enough and this valentines day sent a love poem expressing his feelings for her, claiming he wrote it himself. Not something that a lot of us would try but it could work, however it gets worse.

Thinking the poem sounded familiar the girl decided to type the lyrics into google. It emerged that the guy, in his desperate passion and not knowing what to do had taken the poem from a poetry website… Come on mate, if you’re going to do something like that at least cover your tracks. The girl was understandably not impressed and is currently seeking legal action.

A nice romantic Dinner?

Finally we’ve heard a story of a guy just trying to be romantic and having it blow up in his face.  Again he decided to treat his girlfriend to a romantic meal and a bottle of wine at home. Not being the best cook he consulted Jamie Oliver and set about preparing honey mustard chicken and dauphinoise potatoes.

Unfortunately, misreading the recipe he only fried the chicken for 4 instead of 14 minutes and being a novice didn’t think anything was wrong when the chicken was red in the middle upon serving.

They finished the dinner and passed away a romantic evening in each others company. Later on in the bedroom things were going well with the girl dressed in her new lingerie. She began to feel queasy but not wanting to ruin the moment said nothing. A few minutes later she was going about thanking her boyfriend for a lovely evening when her condition dramatically worsened, resulting in her being violently sick all over the horrified naked guy.

Being a gentleman he tried to contain his shock and took her to hospital. As it turned out his chicken, which had gained so much praise earlier on, had given his girlfriend a severe case of salmonella and he spent the rest of the night apologising at the side of her hospital bed.

This is a tragic case of a guy just trying to do the right thing and having it fall apart so spectacularly, our hearts go out to him and we wish the girl a speedy recovery.