21 disasters that will inevitably happen on a night out in the Raz
Do you REALLY need another Raz hat???
There really is nothing better than having an unknown liquid dripping on you from the ceiling of a sticky-floored nightclub. The sweat, the stench of probably a mixture of Raz Bombs and vomit, and the abundance of first-years; here's the common obstacles you'll face when venturing into the Raz on a Monday night.
1. Pres start too early to get in the queue on time, ending up with you peaking too early
2. Or you leave pres a minute too late and get stuck in the queue for about an hour, inevitably sobering up
3. Every single person you know at uni is in that queue, including the guy you lost your virginity to
4. You're halfway through the queue and remember it's cash only FUCK
5. Your fucked mate decides to buy a Raz hat thinking they look really cool
6. Razbombs are only £1? Yeah I'll deffo pay you back for about five, promise x
7. You stack it up those grim stairs to the toilets flashing everyone behind you
8. All the students in Liverpool are here yet there's only two toilets? Right
9. The Raz Bombs come right back up, but you're all good
10. You slip down the stairs into the basement, spilling your Fat Frog down your white top and humiliating yourself in front of everyone waiting to go up
11. The DJ keeps saying he'll play your request but never does
12. You got here at about 11 to beat the queue so you're starting to sober up, maybe two more Fat Frogs won't hurt?
13. Your fucked friend tries to dance on the bench, inevitably falling off
14. You probably see a rat running across the dance floor
15. The bartender refuses to give you tap water for your mate
16. Your whole body feels wet
17. That lad from your seminars is making eyes at you, shit
18. Your entire group think you'll look really cool if you start punching the ceiling in the basement
19. You have to leave half your drink inside because you can't take it out to the smoking area. What a WASTE.
20. Suddenly the bottle of Echo Falls you downed at pres is not agreeing with the concoction of Raz Bombs and Fat Frogs in your stomach.
21. You suddenly gain consciousness on the steps outside the bombed-out church as your pals are holding your hair back, Harper's pizza in hand.
If you cannot relate to the majority of these occurrences then you are, in fact, incredibly boring.