Why everyone should date a Scouser
The Northerners of England are united by their passion for alcohol and relaxed mindsets. They neutralise the fast-paced, sober South of the country.
But since moving to university, you might have come across a new breed of Northerner. A breed that call themselves “Scouse”. And they’re brilliant.
You need to start dating a Scouser NOW.
They’ll often boost your self esteem
You’ll get a charming little nickname like “hun” or “babe”, and they’ll remind you of your new petname at the end of every sentence.
They’ll play hard to get
They can be pretty hard to please, so they tend to look unimpressed. By everything. But it does mean they’ll keep you on your toes, and when you finally get something right you’ll definitely know about it.
Your sly mate on the prowl won’t nab them
That accent of theirs makes them quite hard to understand, and it can be a right effort to decode. But on the plus side, it will probably put off your mate on heat from trying to chat them up.
You’ll feel better about your own accent and city
You just will. I mean, look at Smithdown.
They know how to make a good brow
They are definitely on point with their eyebrows, and they’ve shown the nation the way. You’ll never have to worry about your brow game again.
Sorry, I meant brew*
You’ll never have to lend a Scouser your jacket
Outwear does not exist on the Scouse dress-code as they are immune to the English weather. Take them on a night out and you can definitely keep your own jacket in the bitter wind and rain.
Scousers love cheesy chips
Cheesy chips & gravy? Even better. Scousers love their grub.
They are down to earth
Equipped with sensitive bullshit detectors and rowdy attitudes, a Scouser will never let you become too pretentious.
Your parents will love them
Their guttural accents disguise their excessive use of swear words and common term, “like” (pronounced – likghhh).
They’re easy to get revenge on
Mention the words LFC & they’ll go ballistic. Everyone knows real scousers support Everton.