If Taylor Swift’s exes went to Lincoln, these are the halls they would live in
Jake Gyllenhaal would definitely live in Aqua House
Taylor Swift has taken the world by storm recently with her re-release of the album Red. The album encompasses magical lyrics about new beginnings, heartbreak, regrets and turning twenty-two. One song in particular, ‘All Too Well (10 Minute Version) (Taylor’s Version) (From the Vault)’ (incredible title – we must say) has got students all over singing about scarves, car keys, refrigerator lights and crumpled up pieces of paper.
Taylor is recognised for her talented songwriting and ability to take us with her on her break up journeys. Therefore, it is no surprise that her ex-partners are often the topic of conversation. With that in mind, we decided the best way to talk about Taylor’s popular exes was to discuss their fictional lives had they been students at Lincoln Uni.
Here’s where Taylor’s exes would live if they were students at the University of Lincoln.
Joe Jonas – 179 High Street
Joe and Taylor were together at the beginning of Swift’s successful career, after the release of her debut album. The relationship lasted from July till October of 2008 after there was speculation that Joe ended the relationship in a 27 second phone call. The relationship inspired songs such as ‘Forever and Always’ and ‘Last Kiss’.
If Joe were a student at Lincoln he would definitely live in 179 High Street. The new accommodation is perfect for students, whether they have a lecture in ten minutes at David Chiddick or they’re late for the classic Towers pub quiz. However, the delayed construction of the building that left many students disappointed in the 2019-2020 academic year cannot go unnoticed.
We can only link this to the disappointment we all felt when the Jonas Brothers went their separate ways in 2013 (thanks, Nick). However, this was short-lived as not only have the Jonas Brothers reunited but 179 High Street is now flooded with students.
Taylor Lautner – Valentine Court
Taylor, where the hell have you been loca? Taylor and Taylor were an iconic couple – I mean, they had the same name. What’s not to love? The two were together from August until November of 2009, following the huge success of Twilight. I’m sure we were all jealous Taylor managed to steal herself a wolf of a boyfriend. The relationship inspired the song ‘Back to December’ from Taylor’s second album ‘Speak Now’.
Taylor squared met on the set of the film Valentine’s Day so it’s only right that if Taylor were a student at Lincoln he would find himself at Valentine Court. Valentine Court is recognised for its distance from campus in comparison to other accommodations. Most of the time this is students complaining about the walk, however, we think Taylor would love a morning run to burn off all that built up wolf-like energy.
John Mayer – Lincoln Courts
John Mayer and Taylor were together from November 2009 till February 2010. The relationship inspired the song ‘Dear John’, another song from the ‘Speak Now’ album. The song talks about the games he played with her heart and how she ignored all the warnings telling her to run.
Lincoln Courts is your stereotypical accommodation with bottles filling the windows and post-it note messages asking for a sesh. It’s encapsulates everything you love and hate about university accommodation. Similar to how Courts is the stereotype of student accommodation, John is the stereotype of American singers! Therefore, if John Mayer was a student at Lincoln he would live in Courts.
Jake Gyllenhaal – Aqua House
The moment you have all been waiting for – Jake Gyllenhaal. Taylor and Jake were together from October till December of 2010, but oh boy did a lot happen within that short space of time. It is reported that the relationship ended because Jake ‘wasn’t feeling it’ and didn’t like the media scrutiny that came with the relationship. Their relationship went on to inspire the majority of the songs on Taylor’s recently re-released album ‘Red’, specifically ‘All Too Well’. Yikes.
Jake is known for living a luxurious lifestyle and coming from a wealthy family or as Taylor likes to call it; “a silver-spoon gated community”. Given this information, it’s plausible that Jake would find himself in the best Lincoln accommodation. A luxurious studio apartment at Gravity perhaps? I’m sure Jake would love the onsite gym, 24 hour concierge, cleaning service, personal trainer, games room, cinema, and of course the sauna and steam room. However, we just can’t let Jake get off that easy.
Jake has received an astronomical amount of backlash from the public recently, mainly due to the release of the All Too Well short film. The film is a romantic drama written and directed by Taylor herself. In it we see Dylan O’Brien and Sadie Sink dramatizing the incidents and dynamics of the relationship described in the song. It hasn’t been confirmed if the short film is a reflection of Jake and Taylor’s relationship, but many people have linked it.
Given recent events, it’s only right that if Jake Gyllenhaal was a student at Lincoln he would live in Aqua House. We’re sorry Jake, but we just have one question for you – have you given Taylor her scarf back yet?
Harry Styles – Cygnet Wharf
Now we have my personal favourite, Mr Harry Styles. Harry and Taylor (who were known by most as Haylor) were together from late 2012 till early 2013. Taylor seems to be a fan of Winter relationships. It is reported that they broke up following a heated argument during a vacation, causing Taylor to leave the vacation early. It seems like the two are close pals now after they were spotted chatting at the 2021 Grammys.
Harry is known for breaking the boundaries of masculinity and sporting high-end brands, predominantly Gucci. With his high neck blouses, pearl jewellery and high waisted flares it’s no surprise that Harry is regarded as one of the best-dressed musicians there is. Fashion isn’t the only luxurious aspect of Harry’s life, his properties also reflect his elite style. It has been reported that Harry is building a small property empire on a secluded road in London after spending £15million on three houses on the same street. This type of class and confidence can only belong to someone who would live in Cygnet Wharf.
When walking across the university bridge students can always be seen showing off the LED lights and festive decorations in their affluent flats. Therefore, it’s only right that if someone as classy and extravagant as Harry Styles went to university in Lincoln they would live in Cygnet Wharf.
Calvin Harris – Pavilions
Calvin and Taylor were together from March 2015 till June 2016 and made numerous appearances at events together. The two were happy to share their 15-month relationship on social media – along with their separation! The split was less than amicable with Calvin publicly slamming Taylor following a conflict regarding the song ‘This Is What You Came For”.
Calvin Harris is one of the worlds biggest DJs with hits such as “One Kiss” and “We Found Love”. With his favoured genre being predominantly electronic dance music, it’s no surprise that Calvin is known for making appearances at huge music festivals and nightclubs all over the world. Therefore, it’s only right that if he was a student at Lincoln he would live at the accommodation known best for its party scene: Pavs.
Pavs is one of the larger accommodations in Lincoln with all types of apartments ranging from two-bed apartments to deluxe gold studios so it makes sense that it’s party central. If Calvin were a student at Lincoln he would live in Pavs, probably spinning some decks at a party in Clayton House.
Tom Hiddleston – Junxion
Last but not least we have the national treasure: Tom Hiddleston. Known for his amazing performance as Loki in the MCU, Tom was with Taylor from June 2016 till September 2016. It is speculated that the pair went their separate ways due to the pressure of the limelight. The relationship inspired the song ‘Getaway Car’ which alludes to her feelings about getting into a relationship too quickly.
I think we can all agree that if Tom were a student at Lincoln he would be the type that is five minutes early to his lectures and at the library most evenings whilst still maintaining that cool and collected aura. Therefore, Tom would definitely live in Junxion. It provides that classic student experience with the chance to meet students from various parts of the world in the courtyard. Being as close to campus as you can get also means Tom can be the intelligent and punctual student we would all expect him to be.