This is what your first year Lincoln Uni accommodation says about you

Be honest, you wish you lived in Pavs

University is full of important decisions: from your initial choice of where to study and which course to do to deciding the best VK flavour, you will never be short of dilemmas during your time at Lincoln.

While you have signed up for three years of crucial choices like should you do the reading for that 9 am? Always. Should you message the rugby boy back? Never. None are quite as important as the choices you make before you even step foot on campus.

It is important that you pick the right course, but what really matters is where you decide to live for your first year at Lincoln. Whether you are living it up in the luxury in Cygnet Wharf or slumming it in the accommodation that is, unfortunately, Lincoln Courts, your choice of accommodation will come to define you, and you will soon be able to tell where someone lives based purely on their vibes.

The person crying over their long-term boyfriend in the club toilets? A Valentine Court resident. The boy trying to “educate” a girl in the smoking area at Bull about stocks? He wants to take her back to his ¾ bed in Cygnet, “they don’t have them in Courts you know”. The person starting an edgy independent company after graduating? We should have seen it coming, they lived in Viking in their first year.

Here’s what your choice of first year uni accommodation says about you:

Lincoln Courts

Courts is an iconic Lincoln accommodation that attracts a diverse group of students –who doesn’t want a five-minute walk to uni? Unfortunately, this doesn’t stop (jealous) people from ripping into your new home.

Okay, it’s no Valentine Court, but are the brick walls really Orange is the New Black vibes? Even if they are, at least we all know that Courts residents can survive anything. Let’s be honest, they would probably thrive in Squid Game.

Courts is character building and as such everyone who lives there learns to be resourceful – you might have to be more creative than others. Someone who has lived in courts would without a doubt know how to unblock a shower drain, cover up walls to make it look aesthetically pleasing, all while fitting two people into a single bed.

If you live in Courts you are the epitome of good vibes. Not easily thrown off, you’ll happily dry someone’s tears in the bathroom or break up a fight in the smoking area (this has all happened before you’ve left your flat). You’re the type of person to lend a pen in a seminar (one of two pens you’ve got left) and share your cheesy chips after a night out. You’ve not always done all the seminar reading, but who has?

via Hayden Pollard

Cygnet Wharf

Cygnet Wharf residents are smug. Their accommodation looks good, and they look good too. You can spot someone who lives in Cygnet a mile off, sat at the front of the room so everyone sees their outfit (and rightly so, they’re wearing what you thought was worthy of a night out). If you live in Cygnet you’re the person that has a full pack of pens and a fresh Macbook, even though you only came in from the club 4 hours before. Cygnet Wharf, you are put together.

The ¾ beds and fancy kitchens give you a bit too much confidence though, and Cygnet Wharf is just big BNOC energy. Unfortunately, there can only be a few BNOCs, and every single one of Cygnet’s 442 residents thinks they are one (none of them are). Some of the students who live there know how to make their own fun, like posing with a Stella and creating a shrine to the beer on Instagram.

Every night out you go on, Cygnet Wharf will be there in full. They move in packs of 12 and have mostly slept with each other. The flats are a mix of students thinking they’re in The Wolf of Wall Street, and attempting to become Tik Tok famous, and failing, at both.

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If you live in Pavs I envy you.

Pavs owns the term ‘chaotic energy’, and this translates directly to its chaotic residents. That person on your course that only turns up once a month? Lives in Pavs. The course leader who balances four extracurricular activities and still manages to go out every night? Somehow also lives in Pavs.

You host the best pres and no one should ever expect a boring night. Fuelled exclusively by pasta and energy drinks, you won’t go home until the club closes and you’ve either pulled, scrapped with someone or disappeared for hours. An enigma.

Unfortunately, you won’t stop talking about the “good old days”, like when you made a beach in your uni room because you missed the beach. Living in Pavs might just be the peak of your uni experience and existence. You’ll still be gassing Pavs up when you’re 40, and your catchphrase is “you can take the person out of Pavs, but you can’t take Pavs out of the person”. You might do well to leave your room.

Viking House

Anyone that lives in Viking House is a dark horse. Take the illegal lockdown party for example. For an accommodation that is often forgotten about, Viking House has a lot going on.

The Viking House resident is that course friend who seems perfectly normal, and maybe even a bit boring: until you watch their snap story one night to find out that they’re holding an underground rave in their kitchen. They exclusively drink hard spirits and wouldn’t be caught dead at Quack. Bit scary.

You live at Viking House because you’re “just too independent” to live on campus. Who wants to be a BNOC when you can be a big name at Viking?

Valentine Court

Valentine court is very wholesome energy. You’re the absolute angel who always fills in your less angelic friends on what they’ve missed in the last five seminars they were too hungover to go to. Valentine Court is a nice accommodation for nice people.

Maybe it’s just because flats are divided into houses, but I feel like everyone at Valentine Courts is a domestic god or goddess, complete with recipe books and clothes organisers. In reality, you’re probably as incompetent as the rest of us and just burn your toast in a house instead of a flat. But no circuit laundry for you, oh no. Every single ‘townhouse’ has its own washing machine AND dryer, and if you live at Valentine Court you definitely don’t mix colours.

You love a VK and dancing to some pop classics on a night out, although you, unfortunately, have to take it too far in order to brave the long walk home. I imagine everyone at Valentine Court is in a loving long term relationship (yes, because of the name).

Danesgate House

Who actually lives at Danesgate? If you do live there, you’re the person who’s apparently on your course but has never been seen, were spotted once at a social in freshers week, and disappear from every night out 30 minutes after arriving.  If you live at Danesgate you’re a mystery.

I assume you’ve got a good Instagram seeing as you live so near the Cathedral. Who knows, we might all be missing out on some quality pre-drinks.

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