We tried and reviewed as many VK flavours as we could just to feel something

Arguably the drink of the student, VKs are a common sighting in clubs across the UK (for those of you who have forgotten what a club is: it’s a place where people over the age of 18 go to dance in sweaty crowds and create memories they can’t recall by the next day). Whether you’re the one holding three bottles at once, or the one lobbing them across the crowds just for the sake of it, we all know VKs are a bit of fun for everyone.

“But which VK favourite is the best?” I hear you ask.

Obviously, for the sake of science, I asked for help in figuring out this incredibly important and life-changing question. The experiment involved nine different flavours of the alcoholic beverage, ranging from the classic orange and passion fruit to Iron Brew. Without much else to consider, and having not drunk any alcohol since Christmas, here’s our experience with each VK flavour.

Blue

Top Comment: ‘if you drink this you don’t need to worry about what’s in the vaccine’

We all had our reservations before drinking this – no one should be consuming anything that looks this blue? The smell was dense, which I assume is masked by the general club odour on a night out otherwise, I don’t know how you could stomach it. It was comparable to mouthwash, but even then I wouldn’t be washing my mouth out with it.

Score average: -1.3/10

Apple and Mango

Top Comment: ‘mango has man-gone’

Instantly we were reminded of apple Sourz (the worst Sourz flavour, don’t fight me on this). Despite the lack of mango in this drink, it wasn’t that bad – or we were still recovering from blue and were just grateful to have a different drink.

Score average: 4.2/10

Orange and Passion Fruit

Top Comment: ‘a classic’

This is probably one of the most common flavours to be given out in the club. The one every bar staff member gives you when you don’t specify, or if you’re too smashed to care. Tastes like an off-brand Tango, not disappointing but nothing out of the ordinary.

Score average: 7.3/10

Black Cherry

Top Comment: ‘more likely to get support from the uni than find this at the bar’

This rarity was simply disappointing. Somehow thick and diluted, the taste of cherry was definitely not there. For those who are a fan of Haribos or just want to be ~edgy~ then this one is for you.

Score average: 4/10

Tropical Fruits

Top Comment: ‘meh in a bottle’

Tropical is perhaps another staple flavour seen on nights out. A little different to orange and passion fruit, this is the flavour of the freshers who didn’t want to try anything too new for fear of losing themselves. Oh, it also reminded us of every night out in first year, and the terrible feeling of the morning after.

Score average: 3.3/10

Raspberry and Peach

Top Comment: ‘kinda bad but, much like the current political climate in the US, the best of a bad bunch’

We were looking forward to this one, and who wouldn’t? It sounds great, and the cute pink colour had us sold. Admittedly, I didn’t even know this flavour existed until I bought it for this experiment. While it doesn’t taste of either raspberry or peach, it does taste like blackcurrants. So, if you ever wanted an alcoholic Ribena, this is definitely the drink for you.

Score average: 8/10

Strawberry and Lime

Top Comment: ‘could drink 20 of these, might have a sugar rush though *10 minutes later* forget that I want to throw-up’

Strawberry and lime had so much hope from us. What’s not to like? That’s until you take your first sip, and you feel like you’re eight years old again and you’ve accidentally swallowed the warm pool water. If you were on your way to getting smashed, this is probably a good one to have just because of the amount of sugar that’s going to keep you awake.

Score average: 7.5/10

Iron Brew

Top Comment: ‘reminds me of disappointing men’

The dark orange liquid alone is unpleasant to look at. Tasting it reminded us of off-brand coke from the corner shop. Honestly, I could continue to drink it if it was all that was on offer, but it’s certainly not one you’d want to choose.

Score average: 1.6/10

Watermelon

Top Comment: ‘acid – but nice’

She looks cute, but if this drink was a person, she’d be dating Iron Brew and they’d be the couple everyone hates to see. Another sugary flavour, it’s probably better to have this towards the end of your night to give you the energy to get to Maccies.

Score average: 3.6/10

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