We asked Lincoln students what their weirdest lockdown purchases were and they’re pretty strange
Stop pretending that lockdown made you buy that Robert Pattinson bed quilt… we all know you wanted it anyway
Lockdown will forever be remembered in history for many things. The incredible NHS staff who worked tirelessly to help us and our loved ones. The hard-working shop assistants who stocked our local Tescos, Sainsbury’s, and Morrisons with all the loo roll we ever needed.
But, perhaps more obviously, lockdown will go down in history as the period when the human race shamelessly bought a needless amount of things they didn’t need from Amazon.
In this wild west of the internet, Bezos and his team have been reaping the rewards of a world no longer able to browse the high street. Giving students a six-month trial of Amazon Prime was clever, I’ll give them that. Because you guys have been up to some weird stuff during lockdown, and your Amazon order history is just the tip of the iceberg.
So, as the sun sets on lockdown number three (fingers crossed), here are some of the strangest Amazon purchases made over lockdown (parts one, two, and three) which you guys sent to us.
A Hamster Harness
Because walking your hamster does count as daily exercise. Honestly, I give this a solid 10/10 purchase, and I will be buying one for my own hamster. Whether he will actually wear it or not I can’t guarantee, although I have already planned a trip for us to the local Sainsbury’s.
A Robert Pattinson Quilt Cover
I… have no words for this… the sender of this particular post literally told me that they could not describe the purchase, and just sent me the photo. I was certainly not disappointed in the slightest. Thank you, you beautiful human, for your strange (but very necessary) purchase.
A Banana Suit
This one made me giggle. I like the thought behind the purchase and hope the buyer has managed to serve some fierce looks in this particular outfit. I expect to see this banana making its way through Lincoln’s high street this Halloween.
A Giant Bean Bag
This is a purchase that instantly made me jealous. The comfort. The enormity. The naps on this thing are going to hit different. And if there’s one thing I have learnt over lockdown, it’s that you cannot underestimate the value of a good napping space, that isn’t just your bed.
It looks like this buyer received whiplash from the government’s in-out-in-out approach to easing lockdown restrictions before purchasing these things. Their purpose alludes me, and yet I have the innate desire to flick one onto a wall (and subsequently lose my deposit when it leaves a huge stain).
Penguin Water Dispenser
Anyone who says tap water is nice is a liar and I won’t hear otherwise, so this adorable penguin water dispenser is definitely a worthwhile investment if you want to feel anything other than disgust whilst you drink your water.
A Burrito Blanket
You lot seem to have a strange affliction for niche blankets. But, seeing as we’ve been stuck inside for almost a year I can see why. No longer is it about who has the nicest outfit in the club, but who has the strangest blanket money can buy.
A Jaw Harp
I’m not even going to pretend like I know what one of these things are. I typed this thing in three times to make sure I was getting the right results. Whoever picked this up as their lockdown hobby clearly did not want to be like anyone else, and they’ve certainly grabbed my attention.
13cm Googly Eyes
Maybe I’m biased, but having connections to this story, I had to include it on the list. You may be asking, “but Ellie, why would anyone want 13cm googly eyes?”. And I wouldn’t blame you. It’s a weird thing to buy. But, if you take yourself back to the very, very first lockdown, some of you may remember the worms that took over many a Tik Tok for you page.
Those weird fluffy creatures are what inspired my dear friend to make the giant lookalikes that you can see in the header of this article. Rachael, I take my hat off to you. This is some really weird stuff, but our house would not be the same without Worm and Worm Jr. (yes, they have names, they have their own seat in the living room too).