Which type of drunk are you?
Don’t kid yourself
Ah the wonders of alcohol. Vodka makes you feel invincible, Sambuca makes you feel sexy, a bottle (or three) of wine makes you feel sophisticated… sometimes.
The point is that when the booze keeps flowing, it’s pretty darn easy to get drunk extremely quickly. It’s also much easier to find yourself socializing with a group of people whose personalities change dramatically.
The Philosophical drunk:
Picture this scenario: Two hours into your night out, whilst most people are either ‘dad dancing’ or trying to romance their preferred gender, the philosophical drunk will be found discussing the BIG topics.
Main examples: Life, death, the theory of relativity, or their favorite meal at Nandoss – down to the ingredients of their famous Piri-Piri sauce.
The Happy drunk:
Ah the happy drunk: they’re joyous, they’re bouncing around the room at the speed of light, and they’re basically the life and soul of your night out.
The only reason to hate a happy drunk is if you’re stone, cold sober. A happy drunk’s ‘motor mouth’ is like a repetitive buzz in a sober person’s ear. Painful to hear.
The Sad drunk:
Alcohol can be a saint or the devil. If you meet the ‘Alcohol Devil’ you’re at stage three: Sad drunk.
We’ve all confronted someone on a night out who is a sobbing, hysterical mess. Maybe they’ve had a shitty day, or going through a nasty break-up. Who knows? They’re your responsibility, whether you like it or not.
The Sleazy drunk:
Who can forget the sleazy drunk? Otherwise known as the guy or girl who will say ANYTHING to get some action… I mean anything.
The classic pick-up line heard from a guy is: “Are you Mountain Dew? Because I want to MOUNT and DO you.” Charming.
The Reckless drunk:
Oh lord, the reckless drunk. The guy who has too many Vodka shots and decides he’s Superman, Tony Hawk and Johnny Knoxville all rolled into one.
Chances are he’ll be climbing a lamp post, doing ridiculous amounts of shots or decides to do something so stupid that it makes your heart drop into your stomach thinking about it.
The White Girl drunk:
The White Girl Drunk in her natural habitat is certainly an eye opener. The more the drinks keep flowing, the wilder she becomes. You’ll find a White Girl drunk sprawled on the floor of the club hugging a bottle of wine screaming “I’M OKAY!”
However, the awful reality is she is one more shot away from projectile vomiting all over the club. Eventually, you’ll see the White Girl drunk being chucked out by a less than impressed bouncer who only wants a quiet night. Never going to happen in Lincoln.
The Bitchy drunk:
They’re certainly their own special brand of drunk. After painful hours of drinking they actually gain insight and intelligence. Why is that such a bad thing? Let’s face the facts: sometimes it’s the unwanted truths that tumble out when we lose our mouth-to-brain filter.
The bitchy drunk will open their massive gobs and blab your secrets to everyone in ear shot – from your dalliance with a random guy in the Kebab Shop, to losing control of your bladder in the middle of the club.
Better grab yourself a beer and find out.