These are your worst kissing experiences

Avoid washing machine syndrome at all costs


We can all admit to sharing a few dodgy drunken snogs on nights out.After laughing at our own crappy kisses, we wanted to make ourselves feel better by asking the rest of Lincoln what their worst ones were.

And they* didn’t disappoint.*Names have been changed to protect the identities of awful kissers.

Gwendolyn: “Washing machine syndrome.”


The most popular complaint, particularly from the female population. The fact is, no one wants a strangers tongue in their gob, and if you’ve been drinking you definitely aren’t doing it as skilfully as you think.

Elliott: “Lip biting.”

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Again, a skill that can not be done when intoxicated. Making someone’s lip bleed is NOT kinky.

Pamela: “Kissing them…after they’ve just been sick.”


Ever wondered what that bit of food is thats suddenly transferred into your mouth? Yeah, you’ve just swapped salvia with a chunder dragon.

Clementine: “Forget clash of the titans, more like clash of the teeth.”

Clanging teeth with someone is the most embarrassing kissing no no you could possibly do, not to mention the most painful.

Belinda: “When it looks like Satan is about to kiss you”

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Sometimes, a little bit of aggression is acceptable but not when they’re off the face glaring at you whilst gritting their teeth. No one wants to appear to be kissing the devil or a growling dog.

Barry: “Getting with someone to pass the time”

Being locked out of your house after a night out is always tedious so when a randomer walks past the ideal solution to relieving tension and passing the time becomes clear.

Margaret: “When they look like an angry bulldog”

Excess saliva is never attractive especially when it’s dribbling down their face. You may take it as a compliment that they’re so ready to kiss you they can’t keep it in but we’d rather not see what’s going in our mouths

Benedict: “Pretend birthdays backfiring”                                                       

The most successful trick to get free drinks, especially for girls, is to pretend it’s your birthday.

But when the unsuspecting victim finds out it’s not your birthday after they’ve bought you the drink, they can expect more than a peck in return.

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