Five ways to dump your lover on Valentine’s Day
Don’t fancy splashing the cash on your other half this Friday – why not just get rid of them?
Sometimes relationships don’t work out, and you think it’s time to split.
But this Valentine’s Day, do something different and creative. Dump your future-ex via a strange and different way with The Tab‘s top tips.
A classic, this one. It is best if the presentation is supposed to be marked, because he or she will have to be there. Just dump at the end of the final slide: “[Name of lover], I’m dumping you. Thanks for watching!”, and the job’s a good’un.
Declare it in a lecture
Trick the lecturer that you’ve got some big news to tell everyone from your local Student’s Union or something in the lines of that before the lecture starts. No one will suspect what’s really coming next, in all its glory!
Take a trip to your nearest club and be sure to have your photo taken. You’ll need a sign, or even a message printed on your t-shirt, to declare that you’re breaking up with your lover. Then, when the club owners upload the photo shot on Facebook, share it with all your friends and tag his/her name in the post. Much more creative than dumping by email, huh?
Take the dump-victim to a romantic dinner and say that you have some romantic poetry you wish to share afterwards which express your true feelings. When the bill arrives, request for him/her to go and get some drinks whilst you claim that you’ll sort out paying for it all. Then, run off and leave them with the bill. The romantic poem should say you’re splitting up, but be sure to make it rhyme.
Tape your message hastily scribbled on a piece of paper onto your beloved pooch and deliver the hairy fellah to your soon-to-be-ex. The puppy dog eyes will work wonders here.